I Was Okay Until I Found Out You Cheated
By Carrie Smith
I knew something wasn’t right when you didn’t call me back that day.
The next day you confirmed my suspicion when I received the infamous “I just need some space to think” text. I just sat there and thought to myself “why is he doing this, things have been the best they have ever been these past few months”. A week went by and the only conversation we had was about when we were going to talk. You kept pushing it back; I knew then exactly what was going to happen. You were going to break my heart again like you once had before, but only this time it was going to be completely devastating, but I didn’t know that yet. When you ended things you had convinced me that you were doing it for good reasons, reasons I couldn’t argue with or change. You told me that I deserved better because you stopped caring months ago. You told me that you simply didn’t see us going down the same paths anymore. And I believed you in that moment, but deep down I knew those weren’t the real reasons you ended things. Deep down I knew it was because of her, I simply chose to believe you because it was easier.
Two weeks went by and I had come to accept that we simply weren’t meant to be. However, little did I know things were only going to get worse, because little did I know you had cheated on me.
When I first figured out you had cheated on me and left me for her, it felt like I had gotten stabbed in the heart. I couldn’t breath or speak. I simply burst into tears.
For the next week I went on torturing myself listening to songs, reading articles, and watching movies about cheating. Then one day I woke up and realized that I wasn’t the one missing out, you were. I asked myself the question “why are you wasting your time and thoughts on someone who thought so little about you or your feelings?” It was that day that I decided I was the one who had won this break up. Yes, you have a new girlfriend but given the circumstances we both know it won’t last. I on the other hand, have a new perspective as to what it looks like to be in a loving, healthy relationship. I realized that I deserve someone who wants to give me the world. Not someone who texts another girl more than they do me. I deserve someone who wants to talk to me, and doesn’t tell me I am annoying when I text them because we haven’t talked in two days. I deserve someone who tells me I am beautiful every single day instead of hearing it from his friends instead. I deserve someone who is a man, not a boy. Because a man doesn’t cheat, he isn’t a coward. A man doesn’t lead a woman on for months, a man tells her how he feels because a man has respect for her feelings.
So I want to thank you. Thank you for helping me finally realize that I was blinded by love. I deserve so much more than you gave me in years. Thank you for helping me finally see all the red flags that I chose to overlook. But most of all thank you for showing me exactly what I do not want in a man. I refuse to settle; because of you I will now be able to find my prince charming. I was okay until I found out you cheated, but now I am more than okay, I am happy.