I Cheated And You Still Want Me
RomanceCheating

I Cheated And You Still Want Me

My lips kissed another and I had to tell you. I knew it was wrong yet I let it happen. I had to break up with you. It was the only thing to do. I couldn’t lie to you so I told you. I still care about you. You love me and I slowly was losing feelings for you. I tried to brush the feeling away and it ended me just making excuses. But when I was asked how the relationship was going I honestly answered. The relationship of ours was like in quicksand. Maybe I was the only one in the sand but I didn’t see you. I only saw him with his hand that took mine and made me realize I didn’t want to be in this kind of relationship anymore. Yes, you are the first person I have ever truly had feelings for. We met three years ago and had been together for a year. There are always ups and downs to a relationship I know that, but I couldn’t handle it. It was hurting me and knowing it or not it was hurting you too. I had to be the one to end it or else we’d still be together but still hurting.

Now, it has been almost 2 months and every time you told me you want me back it pushed me further. What does that say about you? Are you that blinded by love? You say I’m the only one you want but haven’t you also said that to your last girlfriend when you thought she was the one? You have given me so many empty promises so how can I trust you if I took you back?

I don’t regret being your girlfriend I hope you know that. You were my first boyfriend and I’ll always remember the times we spent together. Watching Netflix and eating pizza after class, taking trips into the city, and meeting each other’s family.

But I also don’t regret that I broke up with you. There were so many times you were the reason for my tears. There were so many times you didn’t go after me when I expected you to.

So who am I to still be in a relationship with you when I was with someone else? What does that say about me as a person? A partner? I was told if you’re able to cheat you really don’t love that person. So maybe that is true. Maybe I didn’t love you. Or maybe our relationship wasn’t the love that makes a person not cheat. I do hope you find someone who will love you that cheating is not a word in her vocabulary.

I just hope you aren’t too hung up on me. That you can see clearly what I did to you. That you will finally let go of this perfect image of me. I betrayed the kind of love that we did have and you should let go of the person who breaks your heart. TC mark

Related

I have a thought book that I write everything I want to remember Follow Carolyn on Instagram or read more articles from Carolyn on Thought Catalog.