Don’t feel bad for those who throw themselves into love. When a friend, a colleague, a co-worker speaks of an unrequited relationship, you are to do one of two things. Your first option is to promptly walk away; your second option is to explain to them they are worth so much more than a love that will never want them the same way they lusted for them. The longer we promote unreciprocated affection, the longer we promote self deprivation.
When in love, the body craves the euphoria you feel when around or thinking about that certain someone. They literally become your own personalized drug. Sometimes, while you continue to grow an independence, your drug sells out to other users. You continue to crave what they offer, while he’s finding business up others arms, down their necks, and past their lips. You’re left high and dry until he decides to come back.
Never allow someone you care about to accept anything less than the love they deserve. Sit them down, buy them coffee, or take them out to the river next to your sleeping town; remind them how they should be treated by someone who loves them.
Tell them they’re beautiful, hilarious, and delightful. Cut them off from those who use them at their convenience, they are better than that. Deter them from contacting someone who will leave them a puddle on the ground when they were once a typhoon and no one should degrade another until they can only reminisce about what they once were. And once you hold your friend the way you hope someone else will one day embrace them, remember to look in the mirror. Never let yourself accept love where it’s cheap or easy; never welcome someone in who will not remind the impact you have on them and the world around you.
For those of you hopelessly devoted, stop watching Grease and hoping you’ll be a Sandy to your personal Danny Zuko because the movies never fully depict real life. Take it from someone who lost count of the times she lost her own self-respect to compensate for someone else’s vain and flippant attitude: It’s not a metaphor, romantic, or movie worthy; it’s not admirable or loyal, no, it’s not a trait society should promote.
We should not allow others, or ourselves, to bend their backs until their spine severs; lie in bed alone and cry thinking of someone who’s not sleeping alone. We should never allow someone to wonder why they weren’t enough.
I wish I never waited breathlessly for messages that took hours to receive. I wish I never wondered if he still has my picture hung in his room; it’s been so long since I’ve been invited over. I wish I never felt this co-dependency on someone who doesn’t rely on me. I can’t remember how I allowed him to slide into my vein and overtake the wiry outline of my body. I can’t remember what made me slowly make my way to the edge; I can’t remember jumping into the abyss. The worst part of this all is that I did this to myself. No one pushed me into the crevice; no, I stared into the blackness, and I jumped, alone, anyways.
So when a friend, colleague, or co-worker comes up to you crying over someone who dropped their heart that didn’t realize they were holding it in the first place, remind them they need to stand taller, with shoulders back, and eyes sparkling. There is a world so much prettier out there then the dirt walls they view from the rut they created hoping to run into that certain someone at the market or lingering in the halls by their classes.
Remind them they are not defined by the love others bestow onto them, but the love they possess for themselves. No, do not feel bad for those hopelessly in love; force them to go to rehab, don’t allow them to overdose on empty promises and fleeting moments because one day they won’t be able to be revived.