1. It’s okay to outgrow people. Losing people, especially the ones we used to hold dear, is never easy. May it be long-time friends, romantic partners, or family members, the blow can be pretty devastating, and we may question ourselves if we could have done more or differently to preserve these relationships. But no matter what we tell ourselves, it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, we are just not on the same page with these people anymore. There is no more common ground to stand on, and when we try to push something that doesn’t fit anymore, we may only hurt ourselves or the other person. So it’s okay to let go, to allow more space for healthier relationships that can meet us halfway in whichever version of ourselves we are at.
2. It’s okay to celebrate your wins quietly. In this time of social media boom, there seems to be the need to broadcast everything we do. There is this unspoken pressure of updating people on what we are up to or else it might look like there isn’t anything going for us. That is simply not true. It’s okay not to share your victories, small or big. There is only one person’s validation that is worth having and that is from yourself. If you are proud of who you are and what you have built or achieved, it matters less whether other people know about it or not. This doesn’t mean you are discouraged to share it, because one way or another, it is good to feel validated by others, but remember, it is not everything.
3. It’s okay not to show up for others sometimes. I guess most of us, if not all, would like to be there for people we love, especially when they are going through something tough or having bad days. But remind yourself that you can’t always be there for everyone at any time. It’s okay to set some boundaries and take care of yourself first. You don’t have to feel guilty if you can’t free up your time, you don’t have to feel guilty if you feel drained, and you don’t have to feel guilty if today you only have yourself to think about. If these people value you as much as you value them, they would understand that each of us has our personal battles and we can’t expect people to fight it with and for us all the time.
4. It’s okay to change and grow. People say that at certain points in our lives, there is a different version of ourselves that is required. This means that in every level we get up to, we may need to change and evolve. Every set of circumstances and challenges present us with the opportunity to learn and take these lessons to grow for the next level to come. It may sometimes make us feel uncomfortable being out of our comfort zones, but it is a necessary process to go through as we make our way through life. Change can be scary and nerve-wracking, but it can be the only way we find the best versions of ourselves.
5. It’s okay to go through your own journey. Your journey is yours alone. Not everyone will be able to understand it, and it is not your responsibility to make them. The people who may find it hard to make sense of or doubt the path you chose to take may leave, but all the right ones will find their way in, trusting and believing in your vision. It’s okay to stick to your goals even if that means attracting criticisms and naysayers at times. Use it as a motivation to come out victorious on the other side. Don’t compare yourself to someone else because we each have our own ways to thread and roles to play. As they say, “Never compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter 20.” Your journey is uniquely beautiful.