Don’t you just love it when your guy surprises you at home with a beautiful bouquet of roses or brings you a gallon of Häagen-Dazs in the middle of the night? Nothing beats the feeling of being loved and appreciated by your man. However, you’re not the only one who loves special treatment. The man of your life enjoys pampering and attention too as much as you do.
Let’s break the stereotype that men aren’t romantically inclined. They are, though their idea of “romance” may be different from ours. And sure, the idea may not involve expensive flowers and heart-shaped chocolates, or even a sensual massage. Men find romance in simple, everyday displays of love and appreciation – and food.
1. Cook for him
The saying, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” never gets old. And no, you don’t have to be as good as chef Gordon Ramsey or Christina Tosi. Crafting a simple yet carefully thought dish for your man just proves you’re willing to take time out of your day to take good care of him by catering one of his most fundamental human needs – and that’s sweeter than what any expensive chocolate bar can offer.
2. Get handsy
We’re not talking about sex, or even a soothing massage (that may later on lead to sex). We’re referring to simply touching and showing physical affection in your daily activities. Touch is a love language, and gestures like holding hands when walking down the street, caressing his hair while he’s busy watching TV, and tickling his beer belly, are reassuring actions that remind him you love and appreciate his body.
3. Dress up
Remember the way he left you breathless with his casual black suit you’d love him to wear? Yeah, your man, whether he admits it or not, feels the same way toward how you dress. According to psychologist Ronald Goldstein, Ph.D., a marriage counselor in Newtown, Pennsylvania, men are visually oriented specimens, and dressing for his tastes from time to time can turn him on.
We’re not in 1950s, where you ditch your comfortable clothes forever and put on a nice tight dress to impress your man, so hold your feminist views right there. We’re talking about making your guy enthralled every once in a while by letting him choose the outfits he’d like to see you in.
4. Send him out with the boys
Cut him some slack and allow him to spend a boys’ night out with his buddies. A boys’ night out is just as important as your TGIF girls’ nights out, and recognizing that makes you look confident and independent. And instead of “permitting” him, encourage him to let your man know that you trust him.
5. Give him a random present
There are three times you’re likely to give him presents – anniversary, Christmas, and his birthday. But why wait for a special occasion to show sweet acts of caring and appreciation, if you can make him feel special anytime?
Whether it’s a pricey ticket to a once-in-a-lifetime basketball game or a cheap personalized neck pillow to pamper him after his long day, a random gift given for no particular reason is more special than the expected ones. You can even take it to the old school way and write him love letters and flirty notes to warm his heart.
6. Surprise him every once in a while
While writing this article, I asked my guy, “What was the most unforgettable, romantic thing I did?” He replied, “when you surprised me at work.” Then I recalled the silly smile on his face as I visited him near the end of his shift one late afternoon.
A popular stereotype is that men don’t want to be distracted and they can’t be deviated from their work. While the idea may be true, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to be spontaneous. Besides, everyone loves pleasant surprises. Your presence serves as a ray of sunshine to brighten up his restless day. Greet him with a warm embrace to melt his frozen heart and pamper him with his favorite comfort food.
7. Show appreciation for something he has said or done
Did he (try to) cook for you? Was he exhausted after fixing your virus-infected laptop? Did he try his best to make you laugh by sharing the best joke he found on the internet? No matter how hard or simple these actions are, it’s clear that he stepped out to make you feel better. It won’t cost a cent to make him feel appreciated.
A comforting kiss and embrace, a warm smile, a sincere praise, a sweet “thank you”, or a simple remark to let him know he touched your heart, would mean the world to him.
8. Compliment him
You know how many sleepless nights and caffeine-packed days he endured just to finish his paperworks. When nobody else seems to notice his hard work, be the first person to acknowledge him and lift his spirit up. Express your sweet gestures and leave some notes with kind, motivating words, saying you’re proud of him and you believe in him.
Even simple, random remarks like, “your new hair suits you” or “you look hot while you’re slicing up the onions” may leave his blood rushing into the right places.
9. And give him your 100%, undivided attention
I’m not trying to generalize or wash my hands but yes, most women talk more than they listen. With this, they tend to miss out on their partner’s feelings. Men, like women, just want to feel heard and noticed.
When your guy is trying to reach out to you about something, whether it’s about his shitty day at work or regarding his deeper realizations in life, or even about the shallow things that happened throughout the day, put down your phone, listen, and comprehend. Don’t follow up his “I had a rough day at work because of my boss” with “Yeah, me too. My boss never recognizes my work and blah blah blah.” Bae time is bae time, not “me” time.
Never lose the eye contact to express your genuine interest and to show that the coast is clear for him to reveal himself, as well as the stories he’d love to tell. If possible, ask him questions to create a rare opportunity for him to open up more.