On Systemic Misogyny On The Internet

Oh no. A woman is going to complain about Misogyny. Let’s attack her men!

I don’t want to be that bitch who addresses male misogyny on the internet. I do not want to be the one to admit that phrases like “Not all men” and “We should be Egalitarians” frustrates me – namely because these arguments are getting us nowhere.

I don’t want to be that one who denies she doesn’t have any shit to work on because I do. I have had two abusive relationships – one emotional and another physical – where the men I was with have reduced my self-confidence. I turned to the internet and I attacked men through an online forum called Disqus.

For those who don’t know, Disqus is a comment section following every Though Catalog article*. When any woman expresses some frustrating issues they have had with men, a busload of men attack her on Thought Catalog. Anyone who expresses disdain against these men is also attacked by men who state that “they only use women for sex” and that “the raging feminist with no brain should give up her p**** to any man that will take her because all she will end up being useful for is their bodies.” These and a number of other comments infiltrate Disqus. It was so bad that even after I stopped commenting, I still got comments months later telling me off and I was forced to remove my account.

However, Disqus isn’t the worst. Other forums like Yik Yak, Whisper, Youtube and Twitter are full of misogynistic comments complaining about Feminism with no real solutions to gender equality issues.

One person I talked to online on Whisper stated that Feminism is not effective worldwide but instead focusing on first world countries. I tried to explain to him my own frustration that you can’t make any effective changes in these countries without putting all the women to work in factories and creating economic inequality. That our own standards of how women and men should live translates to Neoliberalism abroad. That people in poorer countries are paid significantly less than those in the United States.

Yet he didn’t know what I was talking about. He stated that transnational feminist movements, which he just called “Global Feminism,” had never been effective. It was so frustrating I decided I couldn’t even talk to him. He didn’t even know the history of Feminism and what it has been fighting for.

I was shocked when I was introduced to MGTOW or otherwise known as Men Go Their Own Way. It’s a group of men that are concerned with their own self-preservation rather than agreeing to everything women ask of them. Now to be honest with you, I was frustrated at first. My own insecurities were working at me when I learned about this group. Many of these men expect women to bend over for them because of an abusive spouse from their former lives. Many of them also use women for sex on a regular basis while they advance in their own career. They don’t want to be held responsible for their actions – so if a women gets pregnant with their child, they won’t support it. Yet I had to force myself to understand this group. All men are Anti-Feminists. Every single man of every race and creed from around the world would rather be a man than listen to women or give them a little control. It’s a simple fact of their sex. Yet some of them are advocating against false rape charges and protections against men in the legal system where Feminists haven’t done work before.

The internet has had to open it’s doors to this group of men. Feminists like Emma Watson have had to address the United Nations that Feminism is not “man-hating” and that Feminists are concerned with the equality of both sexes. There’s been a lot of political pandering and women being pressured to get out of Feminism just to seem attractive or decent to men.

I’m concerned. Perhaps it’s because of PTSD from my last relationship. The guy I was with broke my jaw in and told me that I “threw myself on him.” There was no solace to be found with any females because they don’t want to be stigmatized for thinking about Women’s Rights and zero with men.

Men have essentially created the internet into a place of fear and in turn, are changing the political system. It’s possible in the future that abortions will not be legally protected nor will women be as protected in legal cases. Many of these men also have mental health issues. They support and defend Traditional Masculinity but I am afraid that these men will get more violent as the years go on because all they have to support their own opinions are themselves. In sociology, this term is called “Group Think.”

We need Feminism now more than ever in a time when Feminism is being the most criticized. We need men on our side to understand women’s issues. You say you guys are Egalitarians or want to move Radical Feminism to Egalitarianism. Good – then study gender politics and the oppression of women. We should also study yourselves. Yet it won’t work unless if we work together, not if one group oppresses the other. No more Liberals vs Conservatives, Men vs Women and White vs Black. I realize that this will not change any time soon, perhaps never but it starts with people becoming less radical on the political scale.

Men, you need to look in the mirror. Some of you do have issues that you need to work for such as Borderline Personality Disorder – a condition commonly attributed to women. You believe women will leave you and abuse so you attack them like the Feminists you hate so much.

Gender Politics can only get better if both sides work together. If we do not put our personal issues into global issues. If we work together to combat issues like poverty and discrimination.  Yet if we tear people down, this will be a world that nobody wants to believe in.

Think about that before you comment.

*Producer’s Note: Thought Catalog now uses Facebook comments on all new articles.