1. Old makeup.
You never know when you’re going to want to wear that pink, purple, and green pastel palette of eye shadow! I’ll tell you when. Literally never. Those dried tubes of mascara… they won’t do your eyelashes any favors. That “seasonal” powder foundation that doesn’t match your skin tone anymore. I’ll let you in on a little secret… it never matched your skin tone. But JUST in case, better keep ‘em in there.
2. Beauty products in general.
The bathroom is the Mecca for unused products and makeup is just scraping the surface. According to a study that I made up for this article, 63% of products in a women’s bathroom have been unused for at least two years. But it’s not our fault we have seven bottles of conditioner. EVERYONE knows that shampoo gets used at twice the rate of conditioner. It’s a packaging defect, really.
3. Pants that don’t fit.
But they’re CITIZENS! And SO comfortable. I refuse to get rid of them. Definitely just going to lose 10 lbs instead. It’ll happen.
4. American Eagle top from high school.
You’ve finally purged all of your Hollister and Abercrombie (mostly because their logo or name is plastered all over the shirt and that’s, like, way embarrassing), but there’s still that super cute AE top in the back of your closet that you totally might probably wear again someday.
No, I am not saying women don’t wear underwear. I am saying that there’s one or two pairs crumpled up in the back of the underwear drawer that when given the choice between underwear and commando, I’m definitely going commando.
6. Broken cameras.
Typical convo with one of my girlfriends before a big night out…
Me: Do you have a camera?! We have to take SOOO many pics and I don’t want my phone to die.
GF: Ugh, I have, like, three broken ones… hold on let me check if I can get one of them to work. Camera tonight is necessary.
Me: Wait, I have a couple old ones too. Between the two of us one of our cameras has to work.
GF: If not we can just bring a charger to the bar.
7. Magic Bullet Blender.
I’m pretty sure there is an unwritten rule somewhere that states between a household of 20-somethings, at least one Magic Bullet is required… and it shall never be used. But the plastic cups are fair game if you haven’t done dishes in awhile.
8. A year old Cosmo Magazine.
Yeah, the “50 SEX TIIPS” was kind of a snooze and obviously recycled into last month’s edition, but it looks good on the coffee table! And my girl, Selena, looks hot.