All at once, my heart felt its fullest, and then its emptiest. Softly, I felt my spirit emerge from the story, from the life I created out of fear and hope and worry and love.
From the assumptions, the misconceptions, the hope in my heart that felt crushed from the weight of living life in the boundaries of my story. From never being able to let go, from thinking that I had to keep a blueprint of my life with me wherever I went to be whole. From the day I realized that this blueprint was keeping me in a narrative that I didn’t want to be a part of.
The thoughts, experiences, assumptions, and stories were too much. The deep, aching pain I could feel told me to look exactly there for comfort, to the part of myself that was in pain and detached from the life I had. The part of myself that could only feel and observe and be present in spirit and pure awareness. I let myself feel everything, to the highest point of fullness and ache. I let go and thought I’d be left with nothing.
But I was left with everything. I was breathing and living and feeling, and I could feel gratitude in understanding that everything brought me here. To the magic of being in the present, to the ability of being able to feel joyous and alive apart from the external world. To be still and feel the joy of creation from one moment to the next.
The world hides its magic between the lines of experience. It offers us great pain and unconditional love. It offers us the ability to start over, to take all the messiness and still create something beautiful. It gives us the grace to let ourselves let go, to start over, to create an ever-changing life from one moment to the next.
It is never too late to embrace change and fall into the magic of the present, the gift of pure awareness. The gift of being light in seeking light. The gift of letting go, of living in love. Living in the light of awareness, the light of being.