I Was Slut-Shamed By My Own Best Friends

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

I was dating a guy my ex-best friends did not approve of, mostly because he was older and different from guys I usually went for. Apparently that was enough for the slut-shaming to begin. They called me a slut, a whore, and even a horny-whore (childish, right?), all for just dating someone different.

The name calling went on for months, and it continued even after I stopped dating the guy. I told them to stop, but they refused because they said the names they called me were true.

Maybe the biggest irony of it all is that the furthest I even went with this guy was making-out, two months into dating. Forgive me for being human and having urges, jeez.

My breaking point was when they told me that I can only get more guys than them because I’m “easy”.

No, I am not easy (and don’t get me started on that term). I don’t fuck every guy I date, or date every guy that shows some interest in me. I don’t date around just for the hell of it either, when I date someone I’m trying to see if I want to be in a relationship with them.

Yes, I have dated more guys than they have, but that does not mean I am easy. I struggle with anxiety and even simple things like socializing makes me nervous, but my stubborn ass just refuses to let my anxiety control me. I push myself to be friendly (or, as friendly as I can get) and that’s how I met the people I dated before. I mean seriously, how else would I meet people? I’m not patient enough to wait for people to walk into my life either.

After they called me easy, I eventually stopped talking to them. It hurt a lot, because they were my two closest friends, but I never felt so ashamed for being happy. I was in a lot of pain. They were like sisters to me. My anxiety went through the roof, and I completely walled off people from entering my life. Later on, I was also diagnosed with depression, and began therapy. That’s when things started getting better and I picked myself back up again.

I did eventually find out why Ex-Bff #1 started calling me names and saying that I was easy. She explained that she was bitter because I was dating and she never dated anyone before. As for Ex-Bff #2, I never found out why she said the things she did, but it no longer mattered. I was already at a point where being alone was better than having these two people in my life.

As of today, it has been more than a year since I stopped talking to them. I am now pursuing a career I am passionate about. I am graduating college early. I am in a healthy and loving relationship with an amazing man. I got closer to my family. I met new friends. I started bonding with old friends. I finally moved on.

To those of you who slut-shame, please don’t ever underestimate the power of words.

They hurt, and it does affect people. Think before you speak.

To all women out there, slut-shaming is sexist, and should never be acceptable. If I guy was in the same position as me, he would be praised and his best friends would be proud of him. That is not okay. Why should we women be treated any differently for doing the same things? You don’t have to fit into society’s traditional standards of what a woman should or should not behave like.

Do not ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for doing what makes you happy. You deserve to be happy without judgement. TC mark

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