We live in world where numerous forms of activities are conducted based on digital communication. We sell clothes online, share ideas via blogs, rent vacation homes, and we even date using apps on our phones. Online dating has become so prevalent in our society that statistically, 1 in 5 relationships now start online. Applications such as Tinder are advertised as location “dating” and “social discovery service application”.
Now I have no problem with online dating, we live in a digital age and how someone uses the internet to find potential love or a night of fun is their business. I think it’s a very progressive approach and gives you more control of your time in seeking out a potential partner. You can quickly glance at someone’s profile and decide in a few seconds if they are an ideal candidate for you. You shouldn’t be ashamed to use it if that’s what you want and you shouldn’t try to hide it from anyone. But you should never lie about why you are using it, not to yourself or your partner.
For example, if you are in a committed monogamous relationship and are seeking out others via Tinder or other online dating forums, you are not being honest in your relationship or with yourself.
Don’t try and justify this app is being used to make friendships with others when its sole purpose is for dating and/or hooking up. If you have reached the point in your relationship where you are seeking out others on a hook-up application and your partner doesn’t know, you have already come to a crossroads in your relationship.
Even if you never meet up with them physically, but just share flirtatious messages this is still a form of cheating. Emotionally you aren’t currently satisfied and are seeking affection from an outside connection. Your significant other has a right to know of your reasoning behind pursuing others and you should examine why you have reached this point in your relationship.
Our generation is so obsessed with instant gratification, we want affection and connection immediately, often forgetting lasting relationships are work and won’t instantly come when you swipe right. We can turn to digital platforms for a quick ego boost, way to raise our low self-esteem and pass the time. But whether you are using applications such as Tinder for finding lasting relationships, or just a night of fun, always be honest about WHY you are using it. If you don’t, you’ll just hurt yourself and others repeatedly.
There’s nothing wrong with using online dating applications to try and figure out what you want, whether something casual or serious. You are in control and it takes guts to put yourself out there and figure out what you like. But try to remember other people won’t always have the same views as you, so it’s important to take the time and explain your reasons and motives even if you aren’t exactly sure what you want.
In a digital age, such as ours, we are constantly trying to keep up with the protocol of a changing dating landscape. But honesty, is one quality that you should never change and compromise on. So do yourself a favor and learn from your experiences, be honest with yourself and others, and I promise you will gain wisdom in your future.