Don’t Settle For Me

Flickr / Kevin Dooley
Flickr / Kevin Dooley

People with broken hearts will do anything to distract themselves from the hurt that so deeply invades their being. If I could give you any advice it would be don’t settle for being the distraction and make damn sure you don’t settle for me. You won’t see it as settling, but that’s exactly what it is. Just ask the one before you, or give it a few months, and ask the one after you. It’s a never-ending cycle you see, using one person after another to deal with the grief and heartache. You may look at me now as a beautifully broken soul that needs your tender touch to fit my pieces back together but that is the furthest from reality.

I know how to put myself back together because I’ve done it many times. I’m no damsel in distress. In fact, once I leave, you will find it’s yourself that needs the saving. I don’t love you and I don’t want you I just don’t want to be alone. I’m so afraid of the voices inside of my head that I’m willing to take whatever measures I must to silence them. I’ll look for a home in you but it will only be temporary. You will construct your house around me, building the foundation and the walls so that they include me, but my dear you’re making a terrible mistake. By the time you’ve nailed the last nail I’ll be long gone, only leaving behind a haunting spirit of what once was.

Girls like me are why storms have names. Once I ravage through your life and destroy all that you know you will understand why they told you to run and seek shelter. I’ll demolish the home that you poured heart and soul into. You tried so hard to fix the shattered girl, prove to her good people still existed; you thought you’d done a fine job constructing a safe haven for her. What was once your life’s proudest work, you will now have nothing to show for. I warned you though, don’t settle for me. You were just a step on the long path ahead. I never intended to stay and I knew I’d never need you. I relied on your company but never on your permanent presence in my life.

Life taught me the hard way that people will leave before you’re ready and there’s nothing you can do about it. No one ever really sees the end coming and that’s why it hits you so hard. I now know to leave before I’m left. I won’t ever allow anyone to put me in that defenseless position again. That’s why you don’t settle for girls like me. We’re cynical and sad. We don’t trust and we don’t hope. We get so used to living life on the defense we forget how to properly care for nice people like you. You deserve the world and so much more. You deserve someone who can offer you endless love and support. You need a partner, not only that but you deserve an equal. Girls like me will take and take but have no more left in us to give. So next time a storm like me blows through, don’t try to chase it. Let it go, and remember, make damn sure you don’t settle. TC mark

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