I’m out a loss of words.
Who knew a drunken phone could be so reckless, so debilitating?
A light phone call of nonsense and joking turned into you hurting me.
I’ll always pick up when you call,
But that night I shouldn’t have,
Or maybe it’s good that I did,
Because now I finally have the strength to walk away.
I miss you.
I wish you weren’t hurting.
I wish you could love me like I love you,
Or anyone for that matter.
So, I’m letting you go
I’m letting you walk into the dark so maybe one day you’ll see the light. Maybe one day you’ll be able to understand how much love I had to give to you. Maybe you’ll understand that you actually do deserve this love.
But as you’re figuring yourself out, I can’t be holding your hand. I can be there with you in your thoughts, I can be there with you in your heart, but I can’t physically and mentally be there for you anymore. I need to live my own life without you. And although I’m leaving you as a person, I’m not leaving our love.
This love will not get pushed back behind the old books in the shed. This love will not have cobwebs and dust on it. I will take these memories and I will take this love and I will transform it into the beautiful love it should be, within myself.