I currently lost someone who helped me to see the world in a different and more beautiful way, and my heart aches and breaks most moments of my day. This was a person that saw my soul so completely, and I just can’t understand why God, the Creator, the Universe, would ever take him away. So I allowed myself to get angry. I deserved that—we all do when we are dealing with grief. Then I decided to make it my business to hurt and heal all at once.
This someone, my flame, cracked open a window in my world. He saw beauty in me when I was in one of the darkest places of my life. How could he find anything in me that was beautiful? But he did. He showed me my soul by showing me his. He woke me up to who I might want to be. He showed me I’m capable of becoming that person if I so choose to be.
He cracked open my window so I could let in faith, something I had never had before. He helped me learn how to surrender to things that I cannot control. He convinced me that life is far more beautiful if we can trust the Universe. Trust she knows where we are going and just exactly how to get us there. Trust that she has a timeline for everything.
So I’ve thrown myself into a personal quest that keeps my mind and soul busy between my tears and my big ugly cries. My quest has me devouring books, videos, and articles about twin flames, soulmates, astrology, and the Universe at large. I’ve even started writing again, something I had hidden in cobwebbed caverns of my soul. I think if the Universe would have let him stay, my windows would have remained only cracked. But now I am able to push them wide open, little by little, day by day.
I sure hope the Universe’s plan is to bring him back into my life in divine time. But if that’s not the plan, I’ve decided to let go of my anger, and I’ve started trying to release my sadness. I have pieces of him that now live in my soul. I’m going to need those when I feel lonely or misunderstood. I’m going to use those pieces when I don’t quite believe in myself or know where to go. Those pieces are forever here; those pieces are forever mine.
Once you see someone’s soul, it cannot be unseen—it is a forever gift. When two souls open up to each other, they force one another to learn and grow. Soul work is the hardest but most beautiful work of all. What a gift we receive in life if we meet someone who forces us to do that work—no matter how long they can stay.