Swipe right. Match. Small talk: Are you my tinderella? Coffee date. You think: Well, that was boring. Them: Would love to see you again. You: Silence.
Sound familiar? It can be uncomfortable as hell to tell someone that you don’t want a second date. Maybe you worry about hurting their feelings or perhaps you just feel bad saying “no thanks.”It’s totally normal to feel that way because rejection anyway you cut it isn’t easy. However, saying “no thanks” and owning it can be very empowering. Here are a few ways in which owning your “no thanks” will help you grow.
When you don’t own your “no thanks,” you hold yourself back from potential growth. It takes courage to tell someone you’re not interested. The more you own your no, the more courage you gain. After stepping out of our comfort zone a few times by repeating this behavior, you will begin to feel more and more confident in your decision making. Building self-assurance will begin to feel natural.
Speak Your Truth
There is magic in speaking your truth. When you speak your truth you are acting in line with your values and respecting your boundaries. This grows a stronger relationship within. When you know deep inside what you stand for, what you want and act accordingly, then you are living your truth.
You Know What You Do and Don’t Want
Part of the fun in dating is gaining more insight into what you want and don’t want in a future partner. There’s obviously a reason you don’t want that second date. Use this time as an opportunity to dig deeper into what it is about this person that’s keeping you from further pursuing. Maybe they are lacking in determination and drive. Boom, now you can add self-starter and strong work ethic to your checklist of what you’re looking for in a potential mate.
Build Your Communication Skills
Practicing to vocalize your perspective and viewpoint is one of the best ways to grow your communication skills. It can be hard to say what we want and what we need in life. The more we do it the better we become at it. Communication is key in all relationships, and especially true for romantic relationships. The more we practice these skills now the better they will be for when the stakes are higher and you’re in a serious relationship.
Remember that rule you learned on the kindergarten playground “treat others the way you want to be treated”? Well, it still holds true on the playground of dating. This is the best way to check in with yourself if you’re contemplating or making up every excuse on earth to avoid saying “no thanks”. If the tables were turned, would you want this person to straight up pull a Casper on you, or would you prefer they kindly let you know they just aren’t interested in a second date? Asking yourself this question will give you insight as to how you want to be treated. This will guide you in whether you ghost or simply tell them you’re not interested.