To My Siblings — You Always Have Me

silhouette of three people walking beside body of water
Kylo / Unsplash

You are an answered prayer.

When Mom said that I will have a sibling, I was the most excited kid in the world.

Before you were born, I already had dreams about us. I had always prayed that you’d be a girl just so I can share the doll house and the Barbies with you.

When you finally came to this world, I feel like I always have to be there whenever you open your eyes. I move my hands side by side — near your face just to see if you’re capable of seeing me.

My first concert was in front of you singing you lullabies — I can tell you didn’t like it much because you always cried whenever you heard it.

The moment you started walking, when you started to utter words, and when you finally said my name are my favorite memories of your childhood.

Time has passed and we’ve grown — we saw our differences. We started to compare ourselves to each other as if there’s a need to compete, as if there’s a race that we have to finish. Our little laughter has turned into yelling at each other. As the years go on, we drifted apart.

We didn’t have any chitchats — like other siblings do. We came home and slept sometimes without saying a word — could even go as not even looking at each other. We never say I love you to each other. We never share secrets like other siblings do. My dream of becoming the cool eldest sibling has never materialized.

We got so busy building our own lives to prove ourselves and we forgot that we have each other. There are blessed moments when we get to talk and laugh a little that I am always grateful for. I can only wish for more moments like that.

Remember when I sneaked you out when you were about a just a year old — coz I wanted to show you how it looks like outside then Mom caught us and I got beaten up? — I’d still bear the same kind of pain to see you happy.

I may never be the best eldest sibling to you but there has never been a day that I didn’t think that you are the best for me. Deep down, I love you more than you will ever know and I just wanna remind you that.

No matter how far you’ll ever be, you will always have me. TC mark

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