Maybe Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt

John Schnobrich

It’s not always days filled with red rose bouquets or rainbow skies, but it certainly isn’t about pain and suffering either. At the core of it all, love can be a beautiful thing. One where two people work hand in hand to rebuild bridges not walls. Or a long moment of silence to gather your thoughts during a heated debate rather than saying “it’s over.”

Love doesn’t have to hurt because this isn’t a game show about sabotage. In fact, it’s not a game. No matter how intense a disagreement can be, the person you love shouldn’t have the pure intention to hurt you. Neither should you.

Love doesn’t have to hurt because as adults, we have a choice in most of what we do. In moments of happiness, we can choose to love affectionately. In moments of disappointment, we can still choose to love affectionately. It’s always better to have sunshine in the darkest of days!

Love doesn’t have to hurt because if we were serious preaching about loyalty and commitment then we should honor what we preach. It’s not about ‘ride or die’, it’s about respect. If one values the principle of respect then leaving someone because we think the grass is greener on the other side signals that perhaps we never truly respected them from the start.

Love doesn’t have to hurt because we know what pain feels like. Every single one of us has our own tale of heartbreak and while some of us came out of it stronger, it’s far too easy to turn that pain into spite. Often we don’t realize that the hurt we once felt developed into bitterness, but it is unfair to unleash that wave of emotion unto your significant other because you felt they ‘deserved’ it.

Love doesn’t have to hurt if we stop getting caught up in what the entertainment industry portrays is love or what social media says about dating. Live out moments of the relationship as it is instead of crafting it to someone else’s ideals.

Love can be simple and arguably, it should be simple. It’s normal to worry about potentially being hurt because that’s the risk of sharing your life with someone else. To assume that risk will automatically lead to heartache reflects a personal insecurity that is best worked through with your partner as a relationship ought to function as. In time and with the right person, you will see that love doesn’t suck and it certainly doesn’t have to hurt either. TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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