“Your standards are unrealistic.”
“This isn’t the movies.”
“Unicorns like those no longer exist.”
We tire hearing those words, but we never tire of hoping that we’ll be proven wrong. Truth is, for every hopeless romantic out there in this world, there will be a crowd of people telling them to wake up and smell the roses. And so we do. On occasion we follow the advice of the masses to a T and soon our perceptions become more similar to theirs. Before we know it, we begin to believe that we are still single because of our high standards.
So what happens? We settle.
We settle for someone who doesn’t fulfill us mentally, emotionally or physically, but the worst part is that we believe that this is acceptable. And when that person leaves, we curse the dating scene and it slowly hits us that maybe we will all die alone. That joke about being a crazy dog lady doesn’t seem too much like a far-fetched idea.
By settling, we start accepting that maybe it’s true that fuckboys are the only living species left for us singletons. We settle for their half-hearted treatment, their empty promises, and we tell ourselves that it’s alright to be their option. We fight for their attention and force ourselves into their hearts even though there’s no space for us there from the very start.
But this isn’t anyone’s fault. This is on you.
You didn’t have to believe those very people who told you that your standards are too high. It has never been about your standards and how low or high it is. Everyone has standards when it comes to dating because each one of us has preferences. It’s never been about the benchmark that you set for yourself; it’s about your impatient ways and lack of belief in the idea of timing.
Sometimes you have to trust that your ideal person is out there, and yeah so what if the first time you saw them there wasn’t a massive fireworks spectacle? The truth of the matter is, building a connection takes time, however, time is a concept that the young generation of today simply cannot be bothered with. When the time comes and it quickly hits us that bonds and relationships take actual effort, we find many ways to flee – this leads to the ever famous ghosting or breadcrumb phenomenon. Hence this is why many of us opt for flings, occasional lovers, and genuinely convince ourselves that commitment is asking too much out of us.
If we took as much time as we did in trying to make certain “ships” work then perhaps there will be less bitter people talking shit about modern romance and relationships in their spare time. What if we all kept to our standards and believed that a person whose mission is to bring out the best side of us actually exists? I bet it’s a world full of individuals who has found their better half through patience, persistence, hope, and dedication.
Truth be told.. Your standards are not why you’re single nor is it the reason that you wonder why it can feel helpless to date around in this day and age. It’s your lack of belief that the road you’re on now, is exactly where you need to be.