Why Modern Dating Is Making It Feel Impossible To Be A Single Person

Tanja Heffner

I can no longer recall how modern dating has turned into the circus that I’ve come to know today. The spectacle of dating in today’s society has left me perplexed and I really can’t figure it out. I don’t know what is still applicable or forbidden because the rules in Modern Dating 101 change faster than this Libra changes her mind about what to eat for dinner.

For Pete’s sake, why can’t I catch a break? And how do people find themselves involved in “conventional dating”? If there are less rules in the conventional form of dating then damn it, I want to partake in that! Maybe I’m not cut out for modern dating with all its convenience of swiping left, right, up, and down. Maybe I’m not meant to seek pleasure first and connection second. Maybe I don’t necessarily see much of the positives behind all the technological breakthroughs for dating apps.

Maybe I don’t want to find convenience in modern dating at all.

The truth is, the availability of dating apps has turned us into slackers and horrible communicators. We’re too afraid of expressing our feelings to our crush in fear that they will disappear the moment we admit, “I like you.” We’ve become complacent in knowing that there are plenty of fish in the sea to the point that we disregard the very few who actually have feelings for us or dare I say it.. Care about us. Modern dating essentially equates to the action of hiding behind our phones.

Modern dating has set the stage for insincerity and encourages us to be fake. We laugh at jokes that weren’t even funny simply because the person on the other end has the jaw structure you’ve been searching for this whole time. We pretend that we’re not interested in being in a committed relationship because the person on the other end will almost certainly disappear on you the moment you tell them the truth. We lie about what we find interesting because we’re convinced that the more common interests we share, the more you and the other person are meant to be. Lying to ourselves for the sake of generating interest from the crush on the end of the screen has become such a norm that we no longer realize we’re being fake.

The funny thing about modern dating is that by getting to know one another ahead of time, we assume that the elephant in the room during the first official, face-to-face date will barely even be visible. Oddly enough, that elephant has only enlarged in size and you end up wracking your head coming up with topics to keep a conversation going. You hid behind your online persona – the outgoing, hilarious, commitment-phobe who felt sparks fly upon sharing details on “your type”. You mastered the role online, but when it doesn’t translate in real life then what do you do?

The singletons of today’s society face a daunting era in modern dating and everyone is holding hands together in hopes that our belief and perception of love doesn’t hit rock bottom. We’re all looking for the same thing – love and affection – and somehow, modern dating has instead led us away from that road. Which is honestly the most bitter truth of all as a single person today. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Storyteller by nature and oversharing details is my forte.

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