She doesn’t care much about small talk; she hates it. She doesn’t want to have to start the conversation with pointless topics that are of little importance to both of you. She wants depth in the things that you two talk about and she especially wants you to admit that you feel something for her. She is tired of receiving your occasional “hello”, “hey you” and the overused “hey hey” because she knows that once the conversation ends, you will disappear again. If you wonder why she hasn’t left you completely, it’s because she’s still hanging on to the single thread of hope that you will eventually tell her that you want her in your life.
She wants you to stay and she promises to respond to your every text and answer your calls. You never need to worry that she will leave your messages on read because she won’t – she knows how annoying such actions feel. Your on-again, off-again greeting on random days of the year are painful for her because you get her hopes up only to crush it again. She needs more than your casual “hello” because as much as you’d like to deny it, you both can be so much more than just friends.
Your hearts fell for each other on a calm night at 11:30PM over Long Island teas and several rounds of guessing games at the local bar where you knocked on the bathroom door to see if she was okay. Despite the distance, she continues to find a wiggle room inside your mind that has led you to think of her on the most random of days. You both left your beating hearts at the bus stop where you kissed her, and every year you were apart, you would hold out hopes that you would soon be in each other’s arms again.
While she won’t necessarily drop everything she has to be by your side quite yet, she is willing to put in the necessary effort if it means that she can be together with you. She wants to be able to show you the quirky side of her that finds dancing in her pajamas to 90’s Pop music a lot more fun than being out at a bar or a club. She wants to make you breakfast because she enjoys making food for her dear ones.
She wants to make you laugh as much as she does with her friends because she knows how tiring and brutal this world is, but she is there for you; to make it easier and to uplift you when you’re down in the dumps. She wants to argue with you because she is a fireball and she wants you to get excited when discussing grown-up issues. She wants to ask any and all questions to you because she very well respects your brilliant mind and appreciates your patience in always providing her with answers. She wants you for who you are because you have subconsciously revealed the side of a man whom she can envision herself falling in love with.
She is willing to accept that opening up to you means risking heartbreak and the possibility of going through a mad cycle of pain, screaming, crying, and desperation if it doesn’t work out. She is open to the idea that she should give love another chance if you will hold out your hand for her – to support her, help her, take care of her, and be there for her. Through all the months and years that have passed by between you and her, she’s letting you know that she has always been ready to allow you to see the many parts of her and her mundane life. Today she remains ready to share that part of her life with you, but you have to give her more than your occasional “hello.”