Marriage Is Not One Of My Dreams (And Honestly, I’m Fine With That)

Jez Timms
Jez Timms

There are women who have always dreamt of their wedding day and then there are women like me.

They say that every girl has thought about their wedding and anticipate on the day when she can say, “I do.”

I want to say “I do,” but I want to say it to a successful career. I want to say “I do,” but to say it to the idea of keep working on realizing my aspirations.

“I do,” want that burrito.

“I do,” love myself without feeling ashamed of it.

Am I wrong for not placing “Getting Married” as part of my “Wishes to Make Come True” list?

As much as I would like to deliver the good news to my parents – as I’m sure others also feel – in actuality, I am neither motivated or driven to make my folks happy because of an engagement or wedding announcement. I grew up being told that women are equals and modern society tells us that women are no longer bound to those archaic beliefs that once defined a woman’s role in society. So, I held on to that belief and continued living a life that I would be happy and proud of. However, that life does not include the idea of holy matrimony or having to say any wedding vows.

I have dreams I want to accomplish and I cherish independence with a passion. I find comfort in being alone with my thoughts and the idea of living in a house full of dogs as I get older does not terrify me. The bed isn’t less empty when in fact I have more room to toss and turn. The nights are seldom lonely because a new day is always on the horizon. I’m never lonesome because I’m surrounded by friends and family who are always here for me. My life is already enriched with love, compassion as well as happiness and all of which never required me to walk down an aisle at a church to say “I do.”

The joy I have in my life has nothing to do in realizing a dream where I get married, but it has everything to do with the time and effort I put in taking care of myself and nurturing the connections I have built with people over time.

Maybe one day my Prince Charming will come galloping my way or he will resurrect what I’m sure my mother thinks is my dead heart. For now, life is a wonderful journey and I’ve only begun to discover it. Should love find its way to me, I will take its hands and ask if it will walk this path beside me. If that path converges and it leads to a wedding then when I post pictures of my wedding day, I won’t say that my dreams came true because marriage has never been packaged as one of my desires that must be fulfilled. Marriage has never been one of my dreams, it’s one of those ideas where if it happens then so be it; if not then so be it, too. While the concept of getting hitched is interesting for others, the idea of hopping on a truck while exploring the Italian countryside is more up my alley.

Honestly, marriage is not my dream and I’m truly not sorry for it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Storyteller by nature and oversharing details is my forte.

Keep up with Cantika on

More From Thought Catalog