I’m More Comfortable Revealing My Breasts Than My Feelings

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Pexels

Having always enjoyed being comfortable without a single stitch of clothing on, my nakedness admittedly become a sort of thing for me. My significant others had to accept the fact that if I’m home alone, that my little bare ass is almost always hanging out with pride.

Pride. What a funny word choice in regards to physical nudity. I’m not boastful of my body shape or fitness. In fact, I’m middle age with sloping boobies and a tummy pooch.

Honestly, I thought my significant other viewed it as a sign of confidence. Secretly, I even hoped he viewed my unabashed shameless display as sexy and appetizing.

Wrong. That’s what I was. He didn’t think my nudity was sexy at all. One day ironically, while naked, I was completely caught off guard by one of his statements. In five words, he revealed issues of which I was forced to evaluate further. The words hurt me. Later, they proved to be spot on.

Ready? Here they are, the five words that changed me forever. He boldly stated with a slight hint of sarcasm: “I still can’t see you.”

A still naked, but puzzled me, inquired as to what the meaning was behind that statement. Quite simply, he responded that he felt even though I was butt naked, that perhaps I might as well have a coat on.

Once the door to naked conversation was open, he voiced his true thoughts on me embracing the concept of mental nudity. It was like my nakedness provided a key to his locked heart and mind.

More importantly, my nakedness provided him a front seat reflection of my heart and mind. Allowing myself to dig deep and see myself in his eyes, I was willing to work at undressing myself. First, I had to digest a few of new truths:

I was hard to know.

I might as well have had clothes on.

I was emotionally unavailable.

My nakedness wasn’t a turn on, but a distraction.

Mental nudity is harder than physical nudity. I realized I was more comfortable revealing my breasts than my feelings. The depths of my heart and mind remained fully covered and protected – just like clothing.

Taking a personal inventory of my shit required a great deal of journaling and self-inspection. Fortunately, my significant other helped me by accepting me at all my levels of intimacy while we worked for the closeness he was yearning for.

Within me was this woman who wasn’t comfortable with myself at all, and it took those five words for me to discover why. No longer am I afraid to be mentally naked.

I’m comfortable in my own skin – in all the ways that count. How do you get comfortable being mentally naked? Remove whatever is covering it and show it off for the world to see. TC mark

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