You Were Not A Fairy Tale

one true love,

the thing that glued into my mind from when i was just a young child.

through fairy tales, movies and tv shows.

and i wanted that.

i am like most people that fit into the category of hopeless romantics.

so, like most hopeless romantics.

i fell deep into my own fairytale love story.

genuinely i thought that this was it.

because up till this point i thought i knew what love was supposed to be.

how love was supposed to feel.

how i would react to being in love.

but what we had was not how i ever imagined my

one true love story would play out.

when we met you were in your own headspace.

every time I would look at you, you would smile but it would never reach your eyes.

you would speak but you never had the passion in your words.

but, you saw something in me that I thought lost for a long while.

you saw that underneath everything I was trying my best to keep myself whole.

you saw the words engraved into my skin through years of pain and wrapped them with your own healing words.

and I believed you.

you were the light I needed even for a short period of time that you illuminated. the one person I trusted. the one true love I thought I expected. and I was the supposed armor to protect you from all the thoughts you never wanted to expose. the shield for your true feelings. your true self.

however, we always ended up in a cycle. i was growing. i was trying my best to fix myself. to be a better person for more than just you. but most importantly for me. and for some reason that was when your smile faded from my memory.

the smile flew into thin air and was replaced by everything I didn’t expect. with everything, you told me you would never do. and when i close my eyes i still hear everything. I still feel everything.

lovers are supposed to help each other grow. love is the catalyst that helps you. having someone there to encourage you. but, that wasn’t what we were. that was what we tried to show.

the truth is, i did love you. there is no doubt that i never did.

but, you were not a fairy tale but the nightmare i couldn’t wake myself up from.

perhaps having one true love is all a facade. TC mark

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