A Conversation With Depression And Anxiety

How does it feel?

To have everything yet nothing.

To see the world move around you in colour but in your eyes it’s all slow motion in black and white.

How does it feel?

To take one step forward and a million steps back.

To not have anyone else to blame but yourself.

To grab for something, you have always wanted but let go after one thought pops into your mind.

To yearn for a change in life

But, in the end you are your own biggest road block.

Riddle me this –

Darling you want the world.

It is practically at your finger tips.

You want to pursue your dreams.

You want to achieve happiness.

You want to do so much.

But, you cannot even acknowledge that I am a part of you.

That I am the reason you see everything in colour but then all of a sudden it’s in black and white.

I am the reason a million thoughts go into your head when someone stops talking to you.

I am the reason that one day you can get out of bed but the next day the whole world is trying to swallow you whole.

I am a part of you.

I will always be a part of you.

So how does it feel?

To be dominated by self hatred.

To have the repeating thoughts of every single insult you said to yourself while looking in the mirror.

To not come to terms with what is going on with yourself.

To continuously make up excuses for yourself day in and day out.

How does it feel?

To feel whole yet there’s a part of yourself missing that you cannot quite explain.

To not understand the true meaning of happiness because you have faked it your entire life.

To witness your life flash before your eyes thinking all is well.

But, deep down you know something will always be not right.

How does it feel?

To have me rule your life?