The Myth Of ‘Playing Hard To Get’

Clarke Sanders

You’ve heard it thousand times. Internet articles on dating and ‘oh why is he not calling SOS’ ones you google after something goes awry in your dating life often point to the root reason for this mysterious and quite disrespectful behavior. Why is he losing the interest? Why did he disappear?

Perhaps you were too easy?

Men like to chase! You are just not good enough of a prey.

Solution? Play hard to get!

Except, that doesn’t make a lot of sense once you think about it, does it?

Why would you think playing with the player will keep him? Yes, perhaps we do value things that came with some effort – but you can easily create enough drama in your relationship to keep the romance alive and it has nothing to do with when the naked snuggling happened or not answering his texts fast or too fast or any other insane reason. And perhaps there are people who do not appreciate drama in dating.

Playing his games might be more fun for him, but unless you are also having fun it’s a completely pointless and possibly miserable venture.

The idea is that, if you keep it up long enough, the player will eventually fall in love with you is ridiculous. Or that you are worth more in the eyes of men who like the chase if you prolong it.

A date nowadays is a swipe away. More probable scenarios:

A) He will keep pursuing you until you give in but if you won’t give in fast enough, he’ll move on. When he’ll start to withdraw, you’ll lose your nerve give him what he wants. Or not and he disappears anyway.


B) You’ll do what you want, so him. Play along until he gets bored.

The outcome: the same. I assure you, a man who likes to put on a chase won’t date you for long: he is not a long-term relationship guy.

All you are doing is making the game more fun for him. The number of players caught in the web of love could probably be counted on a single hand because these people are playing for a reason.

What reason depends on a person, maybe they are not mature for relationship, maybe they want thrills first and foremost.

The point is men won’t be falling in love with you, if you just wait with sleeping with them and make sure not to text them too much and be appropriately a challenge to get with. The opposite is more likely in fact. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Starting erotica/romance writer. Likes dogs, rain and not seeing a sun for most of the year.

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