This is what being the only single person in your squad feels like, because it’s not just about being the “odd one out,” it’s about being the knife to the spoon and fork.
When you’re out with your friends, you know it’s not going to be just the squad. It’s going to be “them” and the squad.
When you’re out with your friends, it’s not your happy memories, plans, or stories that you all talk about anymore. It’s going to be their relationship problems, sometimes its toxicity, and you can’t do anything about it but listen, be there for them, and give advice…because THAT’S what friends do.
When you’re out with your friends, you can be sure one definitely won’t come to parties or late nights outs because that one has to compromise with what their partner wants. And if they’re in love with a toxic person who demands all of your best friend’s time, they might even compromise “buddies time” to “babe time” all the time.
You can’t possibly just ask them to pick you over them. It just doesn’t work that way, and you don’t want to sound like a bad friend.
You’re not complaining, you just can’t fathom the fact that you can’t do anything about this eerie feeling. It may sound unsupportive and selfish, but you know it’s just because you miss them, along with the memories you once shared when it’s just all of you at that time. Deep inside, you really are happy for them, but also at the back of it, concerned of “what could be” if you’re the one who’s left behind.
Being the only single person (and unlucky in love) out of your group feels sad, lonely, and depressing. Because first, you can’t force dating when you’re really not ready, and second, you can’t just wish their happiness away.
You may force a “crush” into the picture, but you know it won’t do you anything good either. Because at the end of the day, they’re all still in a relationship, and you’re just the odd one out trying to keep up.
You look as if you’re against their relationships when all you are worried about is ending up alone with their phones “cannot be reached.” Their unavailability when you need them is your utmost concern, and it will always look as if you’re “the bitter one” for not getting a chance at love.
Being sad about this thing is something most people overlook. Especially with the fact that your friends don’t realize that you will always be the one to go home alone when all of you separate. You will always be the one to wait for a text message or two because you know they have other priorities and one of them is their SOs. You will always be the anxious one battling over asking them out for a drink or just going out alone because you know they’re busy building a future with their partners.
So, you sit there, thinking whether you’d wish they break up soon or just look for a new company. You know you wouldn’t even bear the former option, so you go for the latter. You wish there could be someone single like you out there who would serve as each other’s company. And when you find one, your friends won’t like that at first. They will somehow think you’ve changed. You will hurt their feelings, thinking you don’t consider them a part of your life anymore because of their “shortcomings” as a friend. But all you know is that “I just need someone to consistently talk to, and prove me the catchphrase, ‘best friends forever.’”
That’s when you end up thinking and praying every night. That’s when you start asking, “Why can’t I have my significant other now?” “Why should I always be the one that’s left behind?”
Although you know your priorities, your goals, and that you don’t need a man (or a woman) at this time, you settle for something you don’t deserve just so you could have one. Because when you’ve got something to say (or excited to tell), and there’s no one who would listen to you, you’d automatically dismiss a “boyfriend” could. But it won’t.
All of this is making you feel insane. Because for you, this is how alarming being the single one out of your group is. This is how pressuring the single life is.
You think you’re overreacting and that it’s just you, your irrational feelings, and your clouded judgment that makes everything seems unfair for you but well, it’s NOT…and YOU’RE NOT.
So to friendships out there, please don’t single out your single friends when you’ve found the one. They can’t possibly wish for a partner when it’s not in their time zones yet. That’ll only damage their lives where you’d blame them for “not listening.”
I’m not saying being a friend is one’s responsibility to keep, but at least you still make time with your friends alone and not ignore them or bring them to dates. No one wants to be a third wheel, neither am I.
They say best friends are forever, I hope you all keep it. Because in this world where society easily judges people comes a person’s depressive mind out of it. And in times like these, you’re the only ones your single best friend needs.
Please don’t forget about them.