I have been in countless relationships, dating boys, players, confused guys, and real men. And based from experience, I would like to share how you’d know if this is this and that’s that. I am no relationship expert, but since I have countless experiences to share, I am taking this opportunity to let you, young ones, know whether you’re close to finding him or not.
Here are the types of love you’ll encounter before you find your true love.
Ah, this “love.” The type where you’ll get “giddy-giddy” and stuff.
You know that “first crush” thing when you we’re in grade school? Hiding in the bushes or waiting for your crush to step out of the classroom hallway just to spot where he’s heading to next during lunch break?
Yep, that’s it.
The thing about puppy loves is that it makes the butterflies in your stomach rave in a way no one else in your life ever has. It makes your eyes twinkle whenever you see him, and makes any physiological aches fly out the window.
I remember mine when I was in sixth grade. I would always buy candies from this cute guy in school just to get his attention. I would often try to get it by either buying a pack of lollipops, or introducing new candy brands to have a little chitchat with him. I was that eager to talk to him way back. And whenever I saw him, I felt less bored and more hyper.
When you first have a crush on someone and open your eyes to dating land for the very first time in the history of your existence, it feels ecstatic and amazing. It is something you can never avoid or control because of the excitement waiting to explode. Imagine forcing the 36 muscles of your mouth to stop embarrassing you because you couldn’t contain your happiness whenever you see him. Imagine scolding yourself like crazy because your eyes can’t stop sparkling whenever he says, “Hi.”
You cringe, but you love the feeling. You flinch, but you somehow like it. You’re smitten, although you said you aren’t. That’s lovesick!
There is a lot of confusion about the thing you call your “first love,” and the formerly aforementioned.
They say your first love will make you feel excited just like how your first crush had. Yes, it will, but it’s more than just that.
Your first love will make you daydream of marrying him someday. It will make you crazy, overthinking every little thing he does for you. He can even make you write a song or a poem for him, which you thought you would never do. Not to mention he’ll bring out the best in you by sparking up your heart to possibilities.
You know why they say “first love never dies?” It’s because they were the first ones to open and light up your heart to love. They are the ones who will teach you “why” it’s fascinating to fall over and over again, and they’re going to be the ones who’ll give you hope to keep pushing and fighting for love until the end.
Your first love will also give you the first lessons in pursuing this wonderful roller coaster ride. And do you know why they will always remain intact somewhere in your heart? It’s because he’s the love that first hurt you. He’s the love that made you feel alive.
Oh, this one. The love that’ll destroy you, wreck you, but will furnish you to become the person you’re meant to be.
This is the love where you will give your all and everything in you for him. The love that’ll introduce you to the words “sacrifice” and “pain,” or so the dictionary says.
Your second love will make you do the impossible things you thought you’d never do for love. This is the love you cross oceans for. This is the love that will make you go blind or deaf with whatever monstrosity is there, in front of you.
This love will make you lose yourself in order to find yourself and who you’re supposed to be. Whether it is with a player who cheated on you, or a real man that you happen to lose because of bad timing, this love will teach you how to grow in the event of your true love’s arrival.
It will wreck you and break you into pieces, but it’ll teach you how to independently put yourself back together. It will hurt you more than a thousand knives pierced in your heart, but it’ll show you what paths to cross the next time around. It will destroy you, but it’ll teach you how to love yourself more.
And although it’s destructive, this is the love that’s worth experiencing. Because if it isn’t for your second love, you wouldn’t be prepared for “the one.”
This, for me, is the most painful type of love one has to experience. It will be your first TOTGA – “The One That God Allowed,” but didn’t work out.
Your great love will make you feel like you found the one. This would be the love where he will feel like home. He will be your best friend, your confidant, and your partner in crime. He will always got your back, and would cross mountains just to get to you.
You are always going to be there for each other, no matter what the cost is, but you will lose him because you weren’t meant for each other. Or when God says, “Not yet.” And although you may end up as best friends after the relationship, you will always love each other and have each other’s backs no matter what. Because this love will always assure you someone’s always got you. The love that’ll always remind you that you’re never going to be alone and that you’re always loved.
Most people don’t undergo this type, but some people do. Some, with their second loves.
The One That Got Away
Similar to your great love, this is the type of love who will feel like home. He will be your best friend, your lover, and all-in-one family member.
This will be the love that you think is the one, or so you thought. But you’ll lose because of a mistake.
I hate to break it to you all, but this is the love you lost (or will lose) because of your own wrong doing. Whether you accidently cheated on him for pleasure, pushed him away to protect your ego, or took your family’s side in thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, this will be the love you will regret for the rest of your life. Because you knew you wanted him, but you let it slip away. And you knew you’ll always want him, but will never have that chance again.
To give you some “clarity,” the fling isn’t “love.” But it’s the type of relationship formulated in infatuation and excitement, mixed with the limerence you felt with your puppy love.
This will be the guy you casually dated. Or, that guy who ghosted or bread crumbed you after your almost relationship. Although some flings really fell into the love department, this type is the unrequited one.
Of all the “relationships” you have yet to undergo, this, so far, is the worst. This is where you’ll lose yourself over a boy who thinks highly of himself, where you’ll fall for a player’s words who will only want your body for a booty-call or a friends-with-benefits setup. You’ll find yourself in an almost relationship with a confused man who doesn’t know what he wants.
This is the type of love where you’ll lose much of yourself. This is the type you do not deserve.
“The fling” will be when you date a guy who’s thrown himself to half-bait the ocean, while leaving you drowning in false hopes along the way. And you’ll lose yourself out there, knowing you only have yourself to survive.
This is something us hopeless romantics aspire for. Even strong and independent women do, too.
This is the best type of love. It is patient, it is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, and it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, and it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.
This the love that does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. (Corinthians 13: 4-8)
Needless to say, this is the type of love everyone deserves. This is the one that God really allowed. In the perfect time, in the perfect place, when you’re fully ready, when you’ve already found and loved yourself, when you’ve learned from all of your mistakes, and when you’ve finally grown up.
This is the type of love that’ll give you a happy ending. And although nothing in this life is permanent, true love is what will make the most of your existence. It’ll bring you joy, hope, and all the things you’ve felt and learned along the process.
Some people I know whom I call “the lucky ones” ended up being together with their great loves. Although God forbade them to be together, fate did step in by the end.
But the luckiest of them all are those who met their great loves the first time around. Because they didn’t have to meet someone new and start all over again.
They were just “destined.”