We may be wondering why relationships don’t last, and why it’s hard for us to trust again after having our hearts broken. Apparently, it’s a mainstream event that happens every once in a while: We meet someone, have our numbers exchanged, date, say the sweetest “yes”, love, fight, argue, makeup or breakup. It’s inevitable in the society to experience it, for nothing in the world lasts forever – even the sun, moon and the stars die.
Bitter? “Na-uh. I ain’t!”
Kidding aside, when you – we – experience heartbreaks, bitterness would be what will occupy your – our – whole system. It’s like, being drunken up by a bitter gourd shake you prepared last week, not thinking if it’s already rotten or not. You suck all the bitterness in while appearing salty on the outside. People will perceive you as a man-hater, or worse, may think of you as a “tomboy.” Well, who cares about their opinion, anyway?
Consequently, you’d occasionally hate men for what your ex did to you, especially if that’s what has been occurring to you ever since you entered the dating life – and if you fall under the category of the hopeless romantics just like me. And you’re there, hoping everyone, or, someone or anyone would understand why, despite consistently pushing them away. Pathetic, isn’t it? I know.
Men who want to date you might be afraid you’d reject them, until you slowly realize no one would ever want to ever catch your fall.
With that being said, you become independently dependent all by yourself, until you find yourself drinking alone in the pub; and/or eat lunch/dinner alone on fast food chains and/or restaurants, while service crews or waiters/waitresses stare at you like, “are you waiting for company, miss?”
The feeling is evidently obnoxious and absurd, as awkwardness in your surroundings makes you swallow shame and embarrassment harder than pride itself. You pity yourself for being alone; feeling like, no one wants to be with or around you, until you compromise with the belief that you aren’t good enough for anyone until you eventually become accustomed to it.
Thing is, you either let it make you, or break you. Simple. You just have to be strong.
What I’ve learned in life was simple. To be completely honest, it’s better to stay single than be – or stay – in a wrong relationship. You’d save your heart a thousand times from an excruciating heartbreak, and realize it’s better to be alone than be completed by someone who’s not even worth your time and attention. You’ll realize what you want and deserve thereafter, until the wrong guy comes back to you, begging on his knees.
If ever this event happens, you wouldn’t want to waste your moving on stage in a snap, would you? You’ve spent the whole year or two trying to become a better version of yourself, and when you already are and he finds out, he will come back to you and grab you as if nothing has happened. He will try to put his arm around you like you, guys, ended up on a no-communication basis, which will give him the, “oh, we’re still together, so I got you” signal. He will brag about that to claim you back as if you were his property, while you unconsciously give him all the right to disrespect you as a woman.
He will slowly tie you up again in his demands, and have you wrapped around his finger for one last time… or another.
Darling, if you ever find yourself in this situation, pause. Moreover, stop. Don’t be a knucklehead. You are making a complete waste of time. That’s vomit-worthy – pampering your ex after he has hurt you is vomit-worthy. Not to mention if you do things for him, while knowing what you already should know, and still do.
Don’t waste the opportunity of finding the right person just to settle for what’s already there. Do not compromise. Never settle for less than you deserve if you know you deserve better. And always make it a point to drive a hard bargain.
I am saying this because it’s hard to fly out of this dilemma. It feels like, there’s no turning back. Every time I tell myself, “I want to move on” repeatedly, my heart disobeys. Every time my mind reprimand me for being such a nincompoop, I do it anyway – I love, anyway… and it sucks! Alright. Enough with the ranting.
Moving on is like being stuck up inside a Christmas Snow Globe. The snow globe itself is the state of moving on, and you’re trapped inside, living in the hopes of, “everything,” being completely “okay.” It’s like, believing everything is, or will be, “alright”, like a “fantasy in thy sanctuary.” Pathetic mockery.
The little house and trees inside it represents the ‘love’ that fooled you; in which you constantly admire for its enchanting and wonderful ambiance. Disregarding the fact that being in it isn’t a good idea for its surreal reality, you, still, keep admiring it.
Let’s face it – “Reality vs. Fantasy.” Which one do you prefer living in? The latter, of course! I mean, Psychology wouldn’t conclude about the study of lonely people having more sleep (while or while not daydreaming of their fantasies) if they were happier in the first place.
Admiring fantasy so much is like hoping for a bad person who killed your cat to cook dinner for you with his beef steak specialty; or in more a twisted analogy, perceiving a kidnapper as the stranger who bought you ice cream on the circus town for free when you were younger. You take it, disregard danger, and take yourself for granted.
Going back to the snow globe metaphor, when you already realize living in it isn’t what you are supposed to settle for – and that, you deserve better – you force yourself out of it. Swimming or flying out of it is hard, especially if the person holding it (your ex) keeps turning it up-side-down. Don’t let it break you or weaken you. You have to constantly keep cracking the glass open until it finally breaks. You don’t have to force it, because moving on, per se, takes time. And no matter how hard breaking the snow globe’s glass is, it will eventually do just like how Scrat in Ice Age did when he tried to stomp the prized acorn he’s obsessed with on the ground that caused a large crack which eventually extended miles and miles until he set off a large avalanche.
You can do it.
The lesson here is to keep moving on. Push through. Work hard. Aim for success; because nothing beats revenge than success itself. You do not have to take vengeance in order for you to “win” the situation. Let him be – let him “win” the situation for breaking you or tearing you apart. After all, he wouldn’t know what he’s doing until he loses what he disregarded – and neglected.
For now, take it in. Accept. Inspire yourself. Be an inspiration. Enjoy. Motivate others.
Motivate yourself. Live life to the fullest; Carpe Diem! Get your lazy butt off the couch. Go to parties. Do the twerk (if you want to), and stop sulking because of a heartache. Don’t settle with one person who does not even deserve you, or see your worth. Get over it. Move on; because there’s more to life than being stuck up with the fantasy that’s never going to be a reality. After all, fairy tales don’t exist, but autobiographies of love stories do.
Never settle with the mediocre happiness your own fantasy gives. Face reality. And, start over again.