This One’s For The Lost Souls

Kervin Tran
Kervin Tran

I want you to know that you’re not alone.

That all the pain and darkness you’re going through is not just a figment of your imagination. It’s real. It’s there.

But you’re not broken and it’s not your fault.

Sometimes life gets to be too much to handle. I know what it’s like to have people constantly tell you that you’re not good enough – that you’ll never find that job or that boy or that something that finally makes it all okay. After all, isn’t that what we’re after? That something that will help us make sense of our world.

We look for it in our books and in our music and in the shows that we watch – constantly seeking that one spark to make us feel like we’re working towards something; that maybe one day it wont all be so confusing.

I know how often you claim to be okay.

You tell everyone that you’re tired because of school or work. But that’s a lie, isn’t it? It’s hard to admit that sometimes you sit alone in the dark, and you ask yourself if it ever gets better – if you’ll ever stop hurting and thinking about the ones who walked out of your life. If those scars will ever heal. If you’ll free yourself from the mistakes you’ve made and the regrets you already have.

But you are just too young to be feeling this sad.

I know that tightness you feel in your chest every time people talk about their jobs and their relationships and the way their dreams are coming together. And I know you struggle to see a future for yourself.

There are so many questions and so many things still unanswered. So you feel the tears coming as you wonder how you got here.

Everyone tells you that you have the whole world ahead of you. But all you see is a wide-open road with no exit signs.

Nothing to guide you to your destination. It all becomes an abstract and foreign concept that’s just not meant for you. So you focus on the constant reminders of what’s missing in your life. It’s as if everywhere you go, you get struck by lightning, paralyzed with the fear of your own insecurities.

That song reminds you of the one who broke your heart.
That smell reminds you of someone who is no longer with you.
Children laughing remind you of the innocence you no longer have.
Old couples make you wonder if you’ll ever find the one.

I know you’re trying to figure out your purpose and whether or not you’ll become someone you can be proud of. And how exhausting it is to need the approval of everyone around you.

The constant expectations and hopes that get placed on your small, fragile shoulders.

Maybe you’re one of the ones who wonders what would happen if you weren’t here. Not because you don’t want to live, but because for just one second you wish you could be idle – to stop thinking. To stop feeling. To stop drowning in the familiar weight that keeps pulling you down.

And maybe you’re scared because you don’t know what your dreams are just yet – you don’t really understand the point of it all and you rack your brain trying to understand how everyone seems to have it all together. Except that you don’t really know what “it” is. You feel as if the world is moving on without you.

But it’s not.

I promise you that the world isn’t going anywhere. I promise you that one day you’ll feel lighter. I promise you that it gets better.

I need you to hang in there. Don’t let the world break you.

I want you to know I’m proud of you. I know how hard it is to move on and to keep moving forward every single day. I know how hard you’re trying. And even on the days that you’re not trying, I’m still proud of you.

Because sometimes, simply getting up and fighting the whirlwind of thoughts inside your head is an accomplishment on its own.

I hope that you’ll ask for help if you can’t handle it all on your own. And that you do it with no shame – this is not a weakness. This is life.

I want you to take a deep breath and tell yourself that you’re a rockstar. Because you are. I want you to sit still and just look for the little things that will turn it all around for you. There won’t be one magic answer that solves all of your darkness.

It’s the little things that will save you – you just have to look for them.

The right song at the right time.
A quote you feel deep within your soul.
Seeing someone you love be happy.
A well brewed cup of coffee.
The way the sun shines through the window on a Sunday morning.
Smelling clean sheets as you hop into bed.
A smile from a stranger.
An unexpected text from an old friend.

It doesn’t matter where or how it happens. The important thing is believing that it will.

You’ve been through so much already, but you’re still here. You’re still pushing and fighting. Those who never fall don’t know how to get back up.

And not falling, if you ask me, is the only thing we should ever be ashamed of.

Remember that I’m proud of you and that I believe in you.

So keep falling.
And always keep fighting. TC mark

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