Have you ever been told that you aren’t good enough? Have you ever been called nasty names simply because of your race, weight, or religion?
Have you ever been brainwashed to believe that this world would be better off without you?
Bullying and cyber bullying have become an unstoppable storm in our world today. Thousands of young people are suffering from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and many other mental health illnesses as a result of severe harassment from their peers. Did you know that one life is lost to suicide every 13.3 minutes? If that’s not something to be concerned about, I don’t know what is.
The truth is that those who get bullied are never the same again. I should know – I was one of them.
While I could write endless pages on what happened and how, I think what truly matters is what I’ve taken away from my fight. After years of pain, shame, and silence, I decided it was time to take control of my life and turn my situation around. Life doesn’t throw anything at us that we can’t handle. Every challenge we face brings us a lesson, a message – something to grow from. We just need to believe that we are worthy of recovery, and I’ll tell you why:
1. We Are So Much Stronger Than We Think We Are
We never know what we’re capable of enduring until we’re faced with the worst situations. We get thrown into so many difficult challenges every single day, but the truth is that we can’t control what people do and how they act. The only thing we can control is how much we let their actions affect us. All we have is ourselves – and we are more than enough to jump back up when we’re knocked down.
2. It Was Never About You
I spent so many years being angry with myself because of what my bullies made me believe that I was. But I later understood that it was never about me. You see, what people think of you is their problem, not yours. We tend to become so obsessed with pleasing those who judge and hurt us the most. But why are they the ones we give so much power to? It’s a pointless, vicious cycle – and it needs to stop.
If they don’t treat you right, let them go.
3. Silence Is Not The Answer
Just because other people have it “worse” than you, it doesn’t mean that what happens to you isn’t important. It’s okay to be the victim sometimes, and it is definitely okay to break. So no matter what you’re going through, don’t be afraid to need an extra hand. The beautiful thing about difficult times is that you learn who’s really by your side.
Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you indestructible.
4. The Most Important Relationship Is The One You Develop With Yourself
In such a competitive world, it’s easy to get caught up and compare yourself to others. But I realized that there’s one thing nobody will ever beat you at – and that’s being you. So get to know yourself; it’s a relationship that no one can break. Learning to accept who we are and ignoring those who tear us down is probably the biggest challenge we have to face. But it’s so worth it.
As long as we’re happy with ourselves, nothing else matters.
5. It Gets Better
I can’t tell you when it happens or how it happens, but eventually the sun comes out again. After days, months, or in my case years, one day you wake up and everything hurts a little less. Time is the world’s greatest healer, not just with bullying but with life. Use all of your frustration, your anger, and your pain to create a better, stronger version of yourself. Thatversion is the one that matters. That version is the one that will get you through it all.
No matter what happens, we must learn to deal with the cards that we’re dealt and feel proud for overcoming our toughest battles. So far we’ve survived every single one of our worst days – isn’t that something worth celebrating?
Was getting bullied one of the worst experiences of my life? Yes. Do I still struggle with it? You bet. Is it something I’ll ever forget? No way. But like with any traumatic experience, we learn to accept, to forgive, and to let go. So climb your mountains. Stumble. Break a sweat. I promise you the view from the top will make it worth your while.
Whatever you went through or are still going through, I encourage you to speak up, stand tall, and keep fighting. Be kind to others, but also remember to be kind to yourself. Let go of what you can’t change. More importantly, keep pushing. Sometimes we need a little darkness to guide us to the light.
To my bullies, I’d like to thank you. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for teaching me right from wrong. Thank you for giving me so much perspective on life. And thank you for showing me a hell of a way to learn to love myself.
I hope life treats you well.