
Letās all agree that our generation gets criticized more than any other. And Iāll admit that we certainly have flaws. But why is it that weāre always stressed, confused, and all over the place?
Maybe it has something to do with the endless expectations put on our shoulders the second we get out of college. Maybe itās the constant back and forth of everyoneās opinion. Maybe itās about all the contradicting āadviceā weāre given.
Letās review, shall we?
1. Itās okay not to have it all figured out. But make sure you have a set plan to survive because youāre broke.
Thanks for the heads up! Itās not like Iām the one getting all the emails about loans and credit card statements or anything. Or how about the fact that Iāve been eating ramen noodles for the last four years to stay on budget? We know how to take care of ourselves, but yet we never get credit for it. Plan or no plan, we will figure it out. We appreciate the vote of confidence, though.
2. Take risks. But make sure you play it safe.
Definitely my favorite. Everyone is so quick to tell us about expanding our comfort zone and taking a leap of faith. And right when weāre about to, we hear nothing but the possibilities of failure. How lonely a new city will be. How scary living alone will be. How broke weāll be if we go for the acting job instead of the law firm. The list goes on and on. Do me a favor, wise elders, let us do our thing. I promise we have already gone through more pros and cons than Rory Gilmore.
3. Who cares what people think? But actually listen to my opinion. I know whatās right.
Why is it so hard for others to understand that times are different? Donāt get me wrong; I like getting advice from people who have been through similar experiences- parents, siblings, advisors, and mentors. But the world is simply not what it used to be.
School is not the way it used to be. This country isnāt even what it used to be. So let me stop you right there. Youāve all made your mistakes and clearly survived. Now itās our turn.
4. Your parents will always be there to fall back on! But youāre a failure if you move back home.
Iāll never understand the stigma about moving back home after college. Iām not saying you should stay on your couch all day for years, but thereās nothing wrong with needing a little break before taking the next step in your life. We all just endured years of deadlines, tests, socially awkward encounters, breakups, and dining hall food. Some people are simply not ready to jump into what comes next. And thatās okay. Letās stop judging.
5. Follow your own path. But make sure you fit in.
Uhhhh. Have we not been hearing this since middle school? Letās āfit inā and be miserable doing everything the popular kids do! No thanks. Been there, done that. If you ask me, the concept of fitting in is one of the worst pressures added on to us. Comparing ourselves to others does absolutely nothing other than make us feel like weāre not good enough. News flash: what works for one person isnāt necessarily whatās going to work for you.
Stop trying to please everyone and take a look at who your real support system is. Whoās pushing you in the right direction and whoās simply pushing you? Sometimes people that we were once close with will become distant. Things change, people change, and relationships come and go. Allow yourself to let go of those who no longer help you grow. Everyone claims that our 20s is our time to be selfish. So be selfish. Be kind to others, but allow yourself to let go when things are simply not what they used to be.
Where does all this leave us?
Here’s my conclusion:
Screw the guidelines. The advice we should all be getting is: Whatās the point of living someone elseās life? These are the years to be adventurous: jump off cliffs, date different people, stay up all night.
And while those are all great adventures, maybe the most underrated adventure of all is letting go of the unwritten rules and following our own path. Maybe the most important adventure is finding out who we are and who we want to become. Maybe, just maybe, itās all about learning to let go of the worldās expectations and live our lives however we please ā and to stop being ashamed of doing so.
The truth is that no matter what path we choose, we will find our way. The world works in mysterious ways and sometimes the most random choices will bring us to the right places. It might take longer. It might have more bumps along the road. But if you ask me, the biggest accomplishment is to look back and know we chose our own journey- we reached every goal even when the world told us we couldnāt.
So I say do whatever you want, pursue whatever you want. Donāt underestimate the power of following your gut. Most of all, be happy with your choices. Donāt let other peopleās expectations become your reality. We always hear that life is short. But the truth is that life is also long. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Thereās a difference between living and existing. I hope you find that difference.
Carpe diem, baby.