After a conversation with my two male friends the other day on men, we agreed on a conclusion- that chivalry was rare. If we experienced it, we women might have won the male version of a lottery. “It’s rare, not impossible” they say, “it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.”
1. Offering his jacket when he sees you’re cold
A male friend once told me, “I wouldn’t offer unless she asked”. When a man gives up his jacket for you without you asking for it, he’s showing that he’s worried about her being cold and cares for her wellbeing, even if it means forgoing his own comfort.
2. Forehead kisses
To us women, forehead kisses are chaste kisses. Not too much of crossing the lines of overstepping what it means to have a overshot public display of affection, but a small but loud way of showing love. I think that’s why we women like it so much (secretly).
3. Showing interest in your past
Old photographs, medals won from your childhood, letters from your past, old scars, old lovers, reasons why, reasons why not, anything and everything about you. All these little parts of the past bring you to who you are today. Nothing beats your man telling you that they accept you wholeheartedly for your vulnerabilities.
Also, nothing of your past is ever used to win an argument. Because the past is as good as forgotten.
4. Flower/s, just because
Note the ‘/’ because we’re not talking about the mandatory yearly overpriced bouquets for Valentine’s Day. We’re talking about the one stalk of her favorite flower at any time of the day. Just to let her know you crossed her mind, or that she’s as close to perfection as what a flower can be.
5. Compliments from the heart
Eye contact, uncensored words. Raw emotions. You’d know it when you hear it.
6. Showing sentimentality
He keeps the first photo you guys took together on your first hike. He remembers what you ordered then or how you fiddled with your hair with discomfort, easing the awkwardness of first dates. Keeps the letters or cards you wrote to him. Remembers little snippets of funny conversations you share with each other.
7. Walking you home even if it’s inconvenient or out of the way
Because it’s dangerous to walk home alone, or even because those few extra minutes with you for extra conversation time to learn about your day would mean the world to them. They insist. Even when you insist.
8. Making the effort for family
Our family forms our first line of defense when they’ve once upon a time tried to re-piece our broken hearts. We might fight and argue but at the end of the day they’re the ones we go running to when things go awry. Chivalry comes in treating our families like their own families, no matter how little the action. Though this might take some time to cultivate, every effort along the way lets us know that you put the people we love on the same level of importance, even if it might be inconvenient to do so at times.
9. Holding heavy items
We are strong independent women who……. occasionally need help carrying heavy items, like electronic appliances, for example. But we women have our pride and don’t like to ask for help. When a man willingly takes the load off for you (without grumbling), that’s when you know, you’ve got a keeper.
10. Being respectful of our choices
Listening attentively to our struggles, and understanding our choices. Though he might not agree with it, by thoroughly supporting it, it gives us the confidence to make our own choices and mistakes, and learn about what life has to offer for us.
11. Standing up for us
When things get rough and we make mistakes, it is ok to berate it for us. But nothing makes a man more full of heart then when he stands by you and your choices and mistakes, even if others might criticize us. Through the tough times and our falls, a chivalrous man is one who stands by us through thick and thin, and understands that we make mistakes, because we are all human, after all.