1. Forgive the people that have hurt you in the past.
Every single ray of emotional turmoil they have caused you. When you harbor bad memories, they leave little marks in every aspect of your life and your complacency of all tasks in your life. When you let go of the past, you give yourself that chance to start anew. A new start with fresh opportunities! Doesn’t that sound amazing?
2. Change your mindset
I’ve had friends who were dumped or dumped their (then) other halves. The most common response I got was this, “I miss him”, “and I regret breaking up with him”. However, when probed further, they couldn’t tell me the answer why they felt that way. I only had one friend who was brave enough to admit that he didn’t love her anymore, but missed her because he felt lonely. I won’t lie that being in a relationship has its perks and comforts. However, when things end, we humans have a tendency to over glorify the past and yearn for a little piece of that cake (the supposedly ‘best’ part of your past).
It takes great guts to be in a relationship. It takes even greater guts fight for a relationship. However, it takes the most guts to never step back into a relationship for the reasons of loneliness, and disguising it as love to another’s expense.
3. Eat that Dessert!
Most of the time after being suddenly single, somehow, we have lost our appeal for people. We don’t want to answer busybodies, and we can’t sieve out the genuine friends from the terrible ones. Instead, we turn to food for comfort. People go two ways after a break up. They either completely lose their appetites (at least for a few days), or they fill themselves up (binge…binge… binge!).
My favorite remedy on the list: Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Ice Cream while armed with seasons and seasons of FRIENDS while joey screams “I’m Curvy, and I like it!” (You can’t go wrong with FRIENDS. You just can’t.)
4. Keep yourself fulfilled, not busy
I see girls partying till the wee hours of the night, drunk off their asses in arms of strangers, severely intoxicated as an attempt to get over someone. Another friend threw herself in books, studying and working with barely five hours of sleep daily for months. Eventually, these two groups wore themselves out. They led miserable lives chasing something they thought they knew- until they realized this just wasn’t the way to go.
So take all the time you need to feel what you feel. Let yourself sort it out. When the time is right, you’d realize that there is a very distinct line between healthy and unhealthy-between keeping yourself busy, and keeping yourself fulfilled.
5. Listen to happy music
Avoid at all costs: The Script- Breakeven, My Chemical romance-I don’t love you like I love you yesterday, Secondhand Serenade- It’s not over (The worst ever!) and the list goes on.
Something that got me by: http://24hoursofhappy.com/
6. Rediscover yourself
Spend some time taking yourself out. Start remembering what you were like single and how good it felt to be yourself. It’s inevitable that we leave a piece of ourselves with others when things end, and in turn we change ourselves to the circumstance. This time is a good time to learn what you do or do not stand for, what you think and what you feel. After some time, you’d start to feel that the one amazing thing about being newly single is when you realize that you finally understand yourself even better than you ever did before.