The 20 Most Important Things To Know About Marriage Before You Get Engaged, According To Happily Married People

1.

It’s probably never going to be 50/50. Somebody is usually going to be carrying more of the load. As long as the burdened partner is not the same one all of the time, you can make it work. Just my opinion.

— threedogafternoon

2.

Make sure you’re both getting married for the right reasons. Not to save a relationship or because it is what they want or to keep family happy.

— Hamsternoir

3.

Pretend you aren’t going to have a wedding. Still wanna get married?

— CaptainClay2606

4.

Don’t forget to continue going on dates after you’re married

— VictorBlimpmuscle

5.

It’s work, and it’s everyday work. If you want a healthy relationship you need to tend to that relationship.

— SCFE1

6.

That you agree on the important topics:

Children (and how to raise them)

Finances/Expenditures

Future Plans

Religion

These are the likeliest topics to have little to no compromise on so if you disagree drastically it will eventually cause a rift.

— Kilen13

7.

Just because you lock it down doesn’t mean it gets any easier… you only get out of marriage what you put into it.

IrishFreak91

8.

When you fight, remember that you two are on the same side.
Sometimes it’ll feel like it’s you versus her… whenever it feels like that, Stop. Back up. Figure out how it’s you both versus the world (or you both versus the fear they’re feeling, or you both versus the problems you’re having or whatever…) and not the two of you against each other.
Hell, try to remember that when you’re not fighting too.
Allisade

9.

Divorces are expensive.

— saello

10.

Sexual compatibility. My wife’s very vanilla and I’m certainly not a 10 on the kink scale, but our sexual want are decidedly different. I’m not gonna divorce her cause she won’t let me go down on her by any means, but it does get frustrating sometimes when I want to spend a little more time on each other and all she wants is penetration.

— superdupersaint01

11.

Your partner’s credit report/score

— MsCardeno

12.

Your SO most likely fell in love with the best and strongest version of you. When you get married, make sure that your SO will still love you when you’re down. It’s a lifetime. Hard times will come. This goes both ways.

— throwawayventing2018

13.

Don’t get married just because you had a baby together. Sometimes people are better parents to their children when they aren’t a couple.

— kiky23

14.

You can still have a “traditional” reception without going overboard, and that money is best saved for other things.

— teke367

15.

That what you grew up thinking is “normal” is probably not the same thing your future spouse considers “normal”. I’m talking about the everyday things – the “right” way to do laundry, groceries, and dishes, what constitutes a clean house, attitudes towards saving and spending money…that kind of stuff. It might not sound like a big deal, but those little everyday things can lead to a lot of overblown arguments if they’re not dealt with early.

— TheLostSkellyton

16.

Fight. No seriously, everything in today’s society is against the sanctity of marriage and if you love your spouse, love them enough to fight with each other. Don’t let stuff that is bothering you fester because it becomes a cancer that can easily lead to divorce.

— daddy1c3

17.

You are both going to grow and change significantly through the years. You may not grow and change in the same direction.

— NeedyMcNeederton

18.

Marriage changes nothing and doesn’t enable you to do anything you couldn’t otherwise do unless there are some religious hangups involved. The main benefits are financial if one of you dies or in the event of a divorce where there is considerable wealth disparity. That would also be a terrible cynical reason to marry someone!

Work at it, issues are not changed by status and like any other relationship you get what you put in.

— Caacrinolass

19.

Don’t lose your individualism. My best friend recently got divorced and discovered that he didn’t even know what he liked to do anymore. The person you’re going to marry fell in love with YOU. Don’t lose that. It’s okay to have different hobbies/interests.

— Dirtywalnuts

20.

Always feel like you can be open in your relationship and be open. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide ANYTHING. When having an argument, make it constructive and not destructive.

— bugboo147 TC mark

Callie Byrnes

Callie is a professional Thought Catalog blogger by day and an amateur Tumblr blogger by night.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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