It’s probably never going to be 50/50. Somebody is usually going to be carrying more of the load. As long as the burdened partner is not the same one all of the time, you can make it work. Just my opinion.
Make sure you’re both getting married for the right reasons. Not to save a relationship or because it is what they want or to keep family happy.
Pretend you aren’t going to have a wedding. Still wanna get married?
Don’t forget to continue going on dates after you’re married
It’s work, and it’s everyday work. If you want a healthy relationship you need to tend to that relationship.
That you agree on the important topics:
Children (and how to raise them)
These are the likeliest topics to have little to no compromise on so if you disagree drastically it will eventually cause a rift.
Just because you lock it down doesn’t mean it gets any easier… you only get out of marriage what you put into it.
When you fight, remember that you two are on the same side.
Sometimes it’ll feel like it’s you versus her… whenever it feels like that, Stop. Back up. Figure out how it’s you both versus the world (or you both versus the fear they’re feeling, or you both versus the problems you’re having or whatever…) and not the two of you against each other.
Hell, try to remember that when you’re not fighting too.
Divorces are expensive.
Sexual compatibility. My wife’s very vanilla and I’m certainly not a 10 on the kink scale, but our sexual want are decidedly different. I’m not gonna divorce her cause she won’t let me go down on her by any means, but it does get frustrating sometimes when I want to spend a little more time on each other and all she wants is penetration.
Your partner’s credit report/score
Your SO most likely fell in love with the best and strongest version of you. When you get married, make sure that your SO will still love you when you’re down. It’s a lifetime. Hard times will come. This goes both ways.
Don’t get married just because you had a baby together. Sometimes people are better parents to their children when they aren’t a couple.
You can still have a “traditional” reception without going overboard, and that money is best saved for other things.
That what you grew up thinking is “normal” is probably not the same thing your future spouse considers “normal”. I’m talking about the everyday things – the “right” way to do laundry, groceries, and dishes, what constitutes a clean house, attitudes towards saving and spending money…that kind of stuff. It might not sound like a big deal, but those little everyday things can lead to a lot of overblown arguments if they’re not dealt with early.
Fight. No seriously, everything in today’s society is against the sanctity of marriage and if you love your spouse, love them enough to fight with each other. Don’t let stuff that is bothering you fester because it becomes a cancer that can easily lead to divorce.
You are both going to grow and change significantly through the years. You may not grow and change in the same direction.
Marriage changes nothing and doesn’t enable you to do anything you couldn’t otherwise do unless there are some religious hangups involved. The main benefits are financial if one of you dies or in the event of a divorce where there is considerable wealth disparity. That would also be a terrible cynical reason to marry someone!
Work at it, issues are not changed by status and like any other relationship you get what you put in.
Don’t lose your individualism. My best friend recently got divorced and discovered that he didn’t even know what he liked to do anymore. The person you’re going to marry fell in love with YOU. Don’t lose that. It’s okay to have different hobbies/interests.
Always feel like you can be open in your relationship and be open. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide ANYTHING. When having an argument, make it constructive and not destructive.