20 Clever Responses For When People Ask When You’re Going To Have Kids

By

This article contains some NSFW language

Found on Ask Reddit

1. “The State won’t allow us to have children anymore.”

— Lexam

2. “When we start to have sex.”

— pxlkaotx

3. “Oh, good heavens, no. We just ate.”

— DocOcarina

4. “We had sex right before coming here, so approximately 9 months.”

— hurshkarkhanis

5. “Ok, when I get home, I’ll knock someone up.”

— jsabo

6. “Oh, we only have anal sex.”

— Insecurity-Guard

7. “As soon as I get the dismount right.”

— Reddit_Bork

8. “When we’re done practicing.”

— missprissquilts

9. “We’re trying. Every night before bed, I look her in the eye, tell her I love her, and kiss her on the lips…but so far, nothing.”

— drsameagle

10. “I find your interest in my sex life disturbing.”

— Zee6363

11. “We’ve been filing for them every tax season, but they haven’t shown up yet.”

— bluebirdonmysholder

12. “Next time they’re on sale at K-Mart. But we might just buy lawn furniture instead.”

— kibblesnbitch

13. “I don’t know Aunt Helen, when are you going to keep a husband?”

— Pioson

14. “You know, now that you mention it, I’ve always finished on her face but I guess I could try finishing inside her every once in a while.”

— Mayor_of_Strongbadia

15. “When the local preschool forgets to lock their gate.”

— Lovebot_AI

16. “When you can legally kennel them and can buy a three-week supply of baby chow at the pet store for $35.”

— Ted_Denslow

17.  “We’ve been scoping out the humane society, puppies are a lot of work so we might go for an older dog like 2-3 years old.”

— mimithemartian

18. Say quietly, “It’s not that easy for some of us…” They won’t ask again.

—  _Foolproof

19. “We tried this morning, a couple of times on the stairs. Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t want to hear about me railing my wife? You should probably stop asking about it, then.”

— scottevil110

20. “When he starts cumming inside of me instead of all over my face and tits.”

— Lontology