20 Clever Responses For When People Ask When You’re Going To Have Kids

This article contains some NSFW language
baby feet and parent hands
Unsplash / Eric Froehling

Found on Ask Reddit

1. “The State won’t allow us to have children anymore.”

— Lexam

2. “When we start to have sex.”

— pxlkaotx

3. “Oh, good heavens, no. We just ate.”

— DocOcarina

4. “We had sex right before coming here, so approximately 9 months.”

— hurshkarkhanis

5. “Ok, when I get home, I’ll knock someone up.”

— jsabo

6. “Oh, we only have anal sex.”

— Insecurity-Guard

7. “As soon as I get the dismount right.”

— Reddit_Bork

8. “When we’re done practicing.”

— missprissquilts

9. “We’re trying. Every night before bed, I look her in the eye, tell her I love her, and kiss her on the lips…but so far, nothing.”

— drsameagle

10. “I find your interest in my sex life disturbing.”

— Zee6363

11. “We’ve been filing for them every tax season, but they haven’t shown up yet.”

— bluebirdonmysholder

12. “Next time they’re on sale at K-Mart. But we might just buy lawn furniture instead.”

— kibblesnbitch

13. “I don’t know Aunt Helen, when are you going to keep a husband?”

— Pioson

14. “You know, now that you mention it, I’ve always finished on her face but I guess I could try finishing inside her every once in a while.”

— Mayor_of_Strongbadia

15. “When the local preschool forgets to lock their gate.”

— Lovebot_AI

16. “When you can legally kennel them and can buy a three-week supply of baby chow at the pet store for $35.”

— Ted_Denslow

17.  “We’ve been scoping out the humane society, puppies are a lot of work so we might go for an older dog like 2-3 years old.”

— mimithemartian

18. Say quietly, “It’s not that easy for some of us…” They won’t ask again.

—  _Foolproof

19. “We tried this morning, a couple of times on the stairs. Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t want to hear about me railing my wife? You should probably stop asking about it, then.”

— scottevil110

20. “When he starts cumming inside of me instead of all over my face and tits.”

— Lontology

Callie Byrnes

Callie is a professional Thought Catalog blogger by day and an amateur Tumblr blogger by night.

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