Found on Ask Reddit
Early in my current relationship, neither myself nor my girlfriend wanted to be the first to say “I love you”. To avoid saying it I once said “I like you with all the likes in the world”
I had a crush on a girl and after years of innocent flirting I didn’t know how to take the next step so one day I text her ” I love them big ol boobies of yours” and she never spoke to me again. I still cringe thinking about it. It was just so out of the blue. I was just so stuck in this innocent flirting mode and didn’t know how to take the next step so one day I just decided I would take a trust fall and I fell flat and hard lol.
I had a crush on her in high school but didn’t know how to talk to girls. So I dyed my hair and grew a mullet to get her attention. I guess I was thinking courting was like how animals do it in the wild or something. Like peacocks.
I didn’t know how to break up with someone. The obvious solution was to get them to break up with me by becoming slowly more and more awful to them until they broke up with me. In wood working class. “IF YOU DON’T START BEING NICER TO ME I MIGHT BREAK UP WITH YOU!” “OKAY!”
I wore a floor length leather jacket to our first date because The Matrix was really cool at the time.
I was 13. He was 14.
We would make these dumb fucking video stories with shitty green screens and I know he still has the videos around somewhere but refuses to show me due to cringe lol.
Though, I think the one that takes the cake is the time we went to see a shitty rom com in theatres, but his mom insisted on not leaving us alone. She sat in the row behind us and would ‘tsk’ every time he would try to put his arm around me.
She loved doing that asterisk talk role play thing so I did that with her.
She and I did that thing where if we texted each other and used a smiley face or put a period, we immediately assumed the other person was in a crappy mood. A fight would quickly ensue. Because of emojis and punctuation.
I wish I could slap myself in the past.
For some reason I pretended like I didn’t ever eat. I would never eat around them. It makes me cringe to think about it now.
I spent hours making half-heart necklaces out of perler beads, one for each of us, that we could both wear to signal that we were committed to each other.
I was too clingy and insecure. He would hang out with his friends and I’d text him, “Hi, do you remember me?” I was just this psycho bitch. I would not date my younger self.
The first time I kissed a guy I was 18 years old… Up until then my only exposure to kissing was from sex scenes in shows/movies. So when we started making out (in public… In the SUB at our Uni), I made moaning noises because I thought that’s what you were supposed to do! God, I hate myself. I can’t even look at him anymore… I just see idiot me moaning like an asshole Mmmm Mmmm mmm uhhh mmm whyyyyyyy?
First kiss of the relationship.
I wanted to try and do the thing from the movies where you passionately grab the other person on both sides of their face and pull them into a dramatic kiss.
I ended up smushing his face to the point where he looked like he was sucking on a lemon and got pushed into a glass door.
He was nice about it though. The second kiss was much calmer and sweeter.
Driving back from The drive-in theatre, she takes her bra off under her shirt because it is uncomfortable and my next move? Turn on my Baranaked Ladies CD and recite all of ” One Week.”
I don’t think I hit the high notes in the purest form as it didn’t seem to have the intended effect of wooing
I asked out my crush over text and she said yes so I replied with “congratulations! You just upgraded to boyfriend package!” I still wake up in cold sweat in the middle of the night thinking about that.
We weren’t official yet so when he held my hand in public I told him we can only do it for five seconds at a time and i would literally count down, out loud, the seconds…. Yeahp.
We still joke about it and I still cringe.
When I was 14 I had this boyfriend and we used to have pretty standard make out sessions after school. Well we would be in the middle of kissing, then he would get up say he had to use the bathroom, come back and start kissing me again. This would happen over and over. So one day I’m like “why do you always go to the bathroom when we are making out?” And he looks visibly uncomfortable and just sort of shrugs. I started thinking he had bowel problems. Then later I was talking to a male friend about it and he told me my boyfriend was probably disappearing into the bathroom to jerk it. I didn’t believe him and was convinced for the longest time my first boyfriend had like IBS or something. Now I look back and think I was a little naive.
There was this guy that I used to make out with that lived on a lagoon. We knew another person that lived nearby, so we could use her paddle boat to pass by the back of his house. We didn’t see him out in the yard, so desperate and hormone fueled young me starts yelling his name to see if he’d come out (this was pre-cellphones). I yelled and yelled for a long time, doing circles in the paddle boat, and the friend I was with was like “dude, give it up, he’s not home”. But he was home, he told us later that his whole family was sitting down to eat and heard me screaming his name over and over like a fucking cat in heat. So embarrassing.
If a text went unanswered for more than 5-7 minutes, I would hit resend. Again and again. And this was like 2007 so phone plans were not what they are now and I was using my moms which had no texting included. Poor guy and poor parents phone bill.
We would put a blanket over us and fool around with other people in the room. The sounds they must have heard, my god.
telling him “I love you daddy” randomly. He’s not my dad. I never called him daddy before that. I thought it was something people do because my brain is pea sized. It was not effective.
This was less a relationship and more a crush… He was walking me to the subway station, and I wanted to hold his hand. I reached for it and he just kind of… Kept his hand stiff. So I walked with him with our palms flat against each others, held out in front of us. Why 15 year old me, why.
I sat in the car with her for an hour debating whether I should kiss her. I debated out loud too, no joke. I was literally like “I could kiss you now, but should I?” Dear god why did she ever date me
We were 16 and we both loved sushi. After payday we’d go to our favorite spot and feed sushi to each other for hours, one roll at a time.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, we would KISS EACH ROLL before shoving it into the others mouth….
My first one, he broke up with me and I started bawling for a good hour while he hugged me. Poor dude probably just wanted to home. My first “serious” one, I never talked to him, because I was shy. But we made out at school every day in front of everyone. God, I fucking hate teenage me.