20 People Get Brutally Honest About The Advice They’d Give To The Person Dating Their Ex

A couple sit on a couch looking out the window at the needlepoint in Seattle
Unsplash / Alban Martel

Found on Ask Reddit

1.

Don’t fall asleep before her. She might try to smother you with a pillow. O-o

— GoldenBrownApples

2.

From Bojack Horseman: “When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”

— anto187

3.

That she’s on Reddit so you can’t comment on posts like this.

— sirsam640

4.

You have every single right to be uncomfortable & upset with her best friend who she “loves like a brother.”

Yeah, they have more of step-brother/sister relationship from PornHub.

— SpeelingBeeChamp

5.

I never worried about you and I was the guy she told her last boyfriend not to worry about. Just a heads up.

Also, she’s into choking big time.

— GonnaNeedABiggerButt

6.

She’s cheating on you. I guarantee it.

— BrighamYoung

7.

Don’t.

— SavageBurritos

8.

He’s a very good person with a moral compass always pointing north.

Don’t use big words around him though.

— RisaUnwound

9.

She likes a finger in the bum.

— Tazinbar

10.

He’ll gaslight you. Trust your instincts and don’t let him paint you as a crazy paranoid girlfriend.

— vichan

11.

Treat him well. He deserves nothing but the best.

— goanaog

12.

Don’t say the L word, or imply that you’re interested in saying it. If you fall for him, keep it a secret. Give him a lot of space and don’t text him every day.

Basically he doesn’t want a lasting relationship; even an open one. He might say that he doesn’t mind relationships, but he does. You might be able to keep it going if he’s convinced that it’s not a relationship.

— Orual309

13.

Don’t let her do coke, and don’t let her have knives if she does coke.

— Zdrack

14.

I truly, truly just hope he’s happy. Please cherish his laugh, and his goofy attitude, and the freckles on his nose and back. Don’t let him fool you though. Make him talk to you. He doesn’t have pretend everything is okay when it’s not. I know what anxiety looks like. And tell him a lot of people are very proud of him for his sobriety. Congratulate him on getting his one year chip. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him.

— miss-karly

15.

He does love you, he’s just a naturally selfish person. That isn’t going to change so you need to decide early on if you’re ok with that or not.

— IAm_TulipFace

16.

Her saying that she quit drinking does not imply that she actually did.

— theartlav

17.

This time last week I would have said ‘enjoy paying for everything because this dead beat Dad likes to throw his money at shit before the rents due’ but I don’t have to because this week she found out about his debt and left him. Ha.

— Meatspin64

18.

He’s outgoing, charismatic, funny and the life of the party, but he’s a drunk with father abandonment issues. If you try to change it, you’ll just end up taking a swig out of his water bottle at 10am and quickly realize it’s vodka: he’s hiding it from you. Bills will go unpaid, he’ll make you feel sorry for him and when you start to see texts at 2am to other girls he will blame you for checking his phone. Move on. His coping skills are booze and validation from others. You don’t need that kind of insecurity.

— Erovian_MD

19.

Open doors for her, she loves sweets, don’t poke her in the forehead, carry Benadryl for emergencies since she’s allergic to seafood, she likes primarily asian noodle dishes but is willing to try other food, she likes drinking tea but is picky about matcha tea, and she hasn’t been out of the country since she was about 4, so her first real vacation destination is Japan.

— Stevent518

20.

Don’t mistreat her, she’s needy but she’ll give as much as you do. Don’t give up on her cause she needs you more than you know.

— TomTom2552 TC mark

Callie Byrnes

Callie is a professional Thought Catalog blogger by day and an amateur Tumblr blogger by night.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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