Doritos Are Making New ‘Lady-Friendly’ Chips That Don’t Crunch And No, This Isn’t A Joke

A Doritos car and a tweet about lady chips
Flickr / Mattie B and Twitter / @OhNoSheTwitnt

It’s 2018. Feminism is all the rage. Discussions surrounding equal pay, sexual harassment, and privilege are at an all time high. But none of that fucking matters, because guess what? Doritos is now making chips just for you, ladies!

The company announced it’s new “lady-friendly” chips earlier this week, which are reportedly quieter to eat and less messy. Why? Supposedly the research shows that women prefer to eat quietly and don’t like licking their fingers, unlike manly men of today. Yes, we have truly reached peak feminism. There is no going up from here.

Let’s just say people were a little confused when they realized the reports weren’t satire.

But you know, since we’re talking lady chips, we have some ideas…

Honestly, Doritos are doing us a service. Women can finally equally enjoy chips, which is what the Suffragettes were truly fighting for.

How about you work on making a bag that doesn’t open so loudly, Doritos? I don’t care who hears me crunch, but if I have to deal with the embarrassment of trying to quietly open a snack size bag of chips in a silent movie theater ever again, I might die. TC mark

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