Found on Ask Reddit
I think the first thing thing that went through my mind was “How can I mentally prepare myself to survive this.” Then when you get moved to your cell it changes instantly “Who’s sizing me up”. After that while laying on the bunk its “I’m going to have a lot of unpaid bills when I get out”.
“Well there goes my job”
“I smell awful”
“He smells awful”
“Holy shit I am bored”
There is no way out and I took my freedom for granted
Went to jail for shock treatment and had to stay two weekends. 7am Saturday to 7am Monday.
You go in for processing, get naked, and then spread your asshole and cough.
They take you to your cell and you meet your mates. Hopefully they are cool, most likely will be if you are staying for a short time.
Realize their is an actual toilet 2ft from your bed. This is where people shit, sometimes while you are trying to sleep. That’s the weirdest part.
Breakfast is at 5am.
Saturday night we got to watch a movie. Everyone seems to be friendly during the movie and will yell out funny phrases or cat call when a sexy lady shows up on screen.
Short of it is I basically read Louis Lamour books the entire time that I borrowed from my cell mate.
Also, got the nickname Chainsaw Dave because I grind my teeth when I sleep. They said it was as loud as a chainsaw.
“what the fuck did I do. “I was extremely intoxicated and woke up when it was time to get out of the back of the cop car. I think I was n shock because my heart wasnt even beating fast or anythign.
Realizing as the acid wore off that this was in fact not a dream, as I originally suspected. And the stack of previously illegible pages of charges and huge bail sum that I thrown all over the cell was probably important.
I was sentenced to jail for 3 months and did 67 days. Relentless anxiety for the months leading up to it, and then within like 10 minutes of being there I knew it was going to be fine. Walked into a room with like 30 dudes watching the prices is right. One person I knew from high school, two people I knew from college. The dorm had a cappuccino, snack, and soda vending machine.
Probably like 70% of the people there were barflys doing a couple months for their second DUI
20% non-violent, small time, drug dealers (me)
10% dads who couldn’t pay child support
I worked in the kitchen for 12 hours a day, slept for 8, watched TV for 4.
I was only in jail for part of one day. Assaulted a sex offender who tried to abduct my child while at a Target store. Apparently beating child molesters is seen very positively by convicts. We both got arrested and booked at the same time. I kept laughing because the sheriff who was processing the guy I assaulted was being mercilessly threatened/harrassed by people in the “bad behavior” cells by the booking desk. 2 different men said they would kill the guy if given the chance so he better get put into protective custody right away. I saw a judge almost immediately, got ROR’d, charges dismissed on my court date a few weeks later. Read some months later that he was sentenced to just over 10 years for the attempted abduction. Good.
“Oh, this is serious. I seriously fucked up. I shouldn’t be here. I’m not a criminal. I’m gonna have ro tell everyone I went to jail now. My mom is gonna be furious. My siblings are gonna be disappointed. I should probably pull my head out of my ass. Etc.”