Have you ever read something and immediately thought, “Wait, is this real?” Of course you have — it’s 2018 and everything is terrible! The news is full of headlines that make all of us scratch our heads or scream “Why?!?!” into the dark abyss. But hey, you can’t say it’s not eventful!
My most recent WTF moment came from a viral interview transcription from GOP Candidate Courtland Sykes, who’s running for the Senate in Missouri. Someone asked him if he favored women’s rights, and wow, he had a lot to say. And apparently he was very proud of what he had to say, because he posted the whole damn thing to his Facebook page.
The post started out in a pretty despicable way, if you ask me, as Sykes talked about being “obedient” to his wife because she cooks him dinner by six every night.
Well — Chanel, my fiancee, has given me orders to favor them, so I’d better. But Chanel knows my obedience comes with a small price that she loves to pay anyway: I want to come home to a home cooked dinner at six every night, one that she fixes and one that I expect one day to have daughters learn to fix after they become traditional homemakers and family wives — think Normal Rockwell here and Gloria Steinem be damned.
Oh, but it gets better form there, my friends. He gets pretty riled up as he starts talking about feminism and, of course, Hillary Clinton, because no GOP frat bro can go more than a few minutes without bringing up the H word.
I don’t buy into radical feminism’s crazed definition of modern womanhood and I never did. They don’t own that definition — and never did. They made it up to suit their own nasty, snake-filled heads. Modern women can BE anything they want, including traditional women — as millions and millions more are fast becoming. Millennial women voters despised Hillary and cost her the election (and they weren’t Russians). I wonder why they despise her? One reason is they look at her personal life’s wreckage and didn’t want to become like her.
And I don’t buy the non-stop feminization campaign against manhood. Men and women are different and gender-blinding word games by a goofy nest of drugstore academics aren’t going to change anything — except the fantasy life of those confused people in ivory towers.
Sykes then went on to talk about his future daughters, which left me, uh, a little confused:
I want daughters to have their own intelligence, their own dignity, their own workplace and their own degrees; I want them to build home based enterprises and live in homes shared with good husbands and I don’t want them grow up into career obsessed banshees who forego home life and children and the happiness of family to become nail-biting manophobic hell-bent feminist she devils who shriek from the tops of a thousand tall buildings that they are think they could have leaped over in a single bound — had men not “suppressing them.” It’s just nots. It always was.
Okay, so you want your daughters to be intelligent, have their own dignity, their own workplace, and their own degrees, but then you want them to just take all that work and become a homemaker? Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a homemaker if that’s what you want, but why put in so much work to just throw it all out the door? I’m not spending thousands of dollars a year on a degree just to throw it away to make sure you get your damn dinner at 6 p.m. sharp.
Sykes ended his rant by taking one last jab at “wrongheaded” women and “radical feminists” (and of course Hillary, because why the fuck not, I guess).
I support women’s rights, but not the kind that has oppressed natural womanhood for five long decades — the kind of wrongheaded “women’s rights” that allows mean-spirited radical feminists to use political correctness and their little broom label of “sexist” to define womanhood and women’s rights for me, for my family, for you and your family or for my country and the world. But good news: they’re finished. Ask Hillary.
Someone should have stood up and faced them off, years ago.
Let’s just say people were not pleased.
Honestly, I know this letter should be infuriating — and it is — but I can’t even take it seriously. I just keep laughing at the way this dude keeps referring to feminists because it sounds like an article in The Onion. Are you sure this isn’t satire?
Just you wait, Sykes. Once you have daughters, you’ll be hearing a lot more banshee shrieks than you expected. Didn’t you know? The future is female.