The greatest memes of 2018 (so far) are officially the ones about eating Tide Pods, which, um, what?
That’s right — the entire Internet has been joking about eating the laundry detergent, probably because its gel-like aesthetic is similar to gummy candies. I’ve got to admit, Tide Pods are pretty — but Jesus, guys, even I’m not stupid enough to eat them.
Unfortunately, some people haven’t gotten the memo and have started the “Tide Pod challenge,” where people online dare each other to post videos of themselves eating Tide Pods. I cannot make this shit up, guys. I really don’t understand the appeal of either eating them or watching someone eat them, but I guess the youths are into it these days.
But (to absolutely NO ONE’S surprise) it turns out the Tide Pods are actually pretty unhealthy for you, as in, they can be poisonous. Not that Tide didn’t try to warn us — they’ve very publicly warned people about the pods, explaining that they aren’t meant to be consumed.
But it’s done little to help so far, and people have been tweeting at the company with concerns after consuming the product and experiencing burning in their stomachs and throats. For what it’s worth, Tide really does seem to be trying to help.
Guys, here’s an even simpler fix: STOP EATING THE FUCKING TIDE PODS.
I can’t help but feel bad for Tide, who kind of god pulled into this whole thing against their own will. Let’s just say that things have definitely been changing since the Tide Pod challenge began. Some stores have started keeping laundry pods in safe containers and require I.D.s upon their purchase to prove customers are 18 or older. YouTube has started taking down videos of the challenge to discourage people from eating Tide Pods and even the police have started sending out PSAs about the dangers of consuming laundry detergent.
I can’t wait till I have to tell my kids about the Tide Pod Scare of 2018. And when asked why it happened, I will stare off into the distance with a faraway look in my eye and tell them the truth: “Fuck if I know.”