Sorry Ladies, John Stamos Is Officially Off The Market And All Your Uncle Jesse Fantasies Are Dead

John Stamos at Disney
Wikimedia Commons / hyku

Aaron Carter may have been the first boy that I ever loved, but Uncle Jesse from Full House was the first man I ever gave my heart to. Can you blame me? He was the soft-hearted bad boy, the white knight who rolled up on his motorcycle in his leather jacket to save the day for his family. Even 6-year-old me recognized how sexy that was and I hadn’t even learned to write full sentences yet.

John Stamos, the genius behind Uncle Jesse’s soft-but-sexy demeanor, has basically stayed pretty single since the show, making it easy to fantasize about one day REALLY getting to marry him. That is, until today. Stamos is officially off the market.

You hear that? That’s the sound of millions of women’s hearts shattering all at the same time.

Okay, I’ll grudgingly admit that the whole thing sounded pretty cute. I guess Stamos took his then-girlfriend (now-fiancée) Caitlin McHugh to one of her favorite places in the world: Disneyland. That’s right, your mcm just asked his wcw to spend the rest of her life with them in the most magical place on Earth and you can’t even get yours to take you to a nicer restaurant than McDonalds on most days.

I mean, I’m happy for the couple, but I’m also devastated, you know?

The two will probably get married in some faraway country with pretty beaches and gold castles because honestly, once you’ve been proposed to at Disneyland, how do you even go up from there? But as for now, the couple continues to celebrate the fact that they’re in ~love~ and fully ~committed~ at the most magical place on Earth.

I guess Disney really is the place where dreams come true, except for 6-year-old me’s dreams of one day marrying John Stamos. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Callie is a writer, editor, and publisher at Thought Catalog. Her debut book, ‘The Words We Left Behind,’ is available for pre-order before its January 9, 2024 release.

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