Wanna stop rape? It sure doesn’t sound like an easy task by any means, but Twitter user @pants_so_short has a few suggestions.
wanna stop rape let's have some conversations around the way boys and men are socialized to affirm their masculinity through their penises
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
wanna stop rape? let's talk about how sex is framed as something done to women opposed to with women
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
wanna stop rape? let's discuss the praising young boys being molested by women as a coming of manhood
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
NEWSFLASH: none of them involve telling the victim what they should have done.
bunch of things you can do to stop rape and none of them deal with teaching victims how not to be raped
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
wanna stop rape? talk about enthusiastic consent. not a "she didn't say no so i figured she wanted it"
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
wanna stop rape? stop telling niggas that they need to get women to a certain level of intoxication to let her true self come out
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
wanna stop rape? stop being predatory in your pursuit and language to and about women
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
wanna stop rape? stop promoting manipulation and isolation as tactics to get to know women
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
He (yes, HE) goes on to tell it exactly as it is: that people are too focused on what victims need to be doing and not at all talking about what we should be doing to stop putting victims into that situation at all.
most of y'all aren't concerned with stopping rape bc google is abundantly free. y'all just want rts.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
and yeah a taser and/or gun is a means of safety but most rapes are perpetrated by persons who know their victims
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
rape isn't just somebody jumping out of bushes or breaking in a window it is coercion, manipulation and assuming consent
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
so until y'all want to have full conversations about the toll sa takes on victims and those close and the psyche of rapists just shut up
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
Seriously, why aren’t we talking about this? Because rapists aren’t what the media makes them out to be — they aren’t always some scary man who follows you into dark alleyways. Sexual assault is often more complicated than that.
so i saw that trill dumbass dude liken rape or the circumstances around rape to staying out of bad neighborhoods. pls don't oversimplify.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
rape happens with or without alcohol. rape happens in group settings and in private settings. rape happens most often with ppl victims know.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
many rapes (esp. on college campuses) involve alcohol, many don't. they involve someone the survivor trusts who then betrays that trust.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
there are no one size fits all solutions for victims to decrease the likelihood of rape bc rapist lie in wait for the most perfect opp.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
and bc men are taught that women need coaxing into fulfilling their sexual desires many believe a "no" is just an opportunity to convince
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
Because believe it or not, telling a victim that they should or shouldn’t have done something can retraumatize them all over again, even when the so-called “solutions” wouldn’t even have been practical.
victims of sa take enough blame on themselves as is. the last thing they need is to see someone tell them that they should have done xyz
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
having read, known and talked to victims of sa the first instinct is not always to scream. they are numb almost paralyzed.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
they have to decide in split moment whether making a fuss would cause this person, who has abused their trust, to react w/ more violence
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
There’s a reason so many victims of sexual assault stay silent.
then if they report the rape folks speak to the amazing character of the accused rapist or his good looks or why she was in said place
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
the measures by which society goes through to absolve rapists make victims have to stay silent and endure their pain w/ no hope for justice
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
but let's say they report it and they go to the hospital rape kits are highly intrusive almost similar to being assaulted again
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
then they are turned over to incompetent police depts which allow them pile up. then they face questioning that's often insensitive
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
and then they are often forced back into the spaces with their rapists since most violent crimes are crimes of proximity
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
What people don’t understand is that we aren’t looking for short-term solutions (such as “victims should do this or that”) but long-term preventative measures (as in keeping people from sexually assaulting other people in the first place).
so it's not as simple as "don't get drunk" or "don't go here". it's complex and prevention doesn't begin with victims.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
rape is not caused by clothes, it is not bc of a setting, or a desire for sex. rape is a crime of power. it is incredibly easy to not rape.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
if sex is your thing and you can't have enough, watch porn or pay for sex. there are simple fixes.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
Don’t think there’s anything you personally can do to help? Well, think again. He gives you plenty of opportunities:
you can volunteer at organizations such as men stopping violence (https://t.co/R802yYsnkp)
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
you can have these conversations amongst your friend group and not allow them to take he tone of women being complicit in their assaults
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
there are any number of things we, as men, can do to help end sexual violence and one start w/ lecturing women. not one.
— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) September 12, 2017
Maybe now that a dude’s saying it, other dudes will finally start to listen. 
