Man on man, do I love Canadian drama. Will Selena Gomez stay with the Weeknd or find her way back to Justin Bieber? What’s going on with Drake’s love life these days (and why did I stop paying attention)? Who would win in a fight: Matthew Perry or Justin Trudeau?
It’s the last question I really care about right now, because Perry and Trudeau have been pretty public about their childhood beef lately. It all started when Matthew Perry sat down for a chat with Jimmy Kimmel and admitted that he not only went to primary school with Canada’s hot PM, but he also may have beat him up. As in, he definitely did.
The gist of the story is this: in the fifth grade, Perry and a friend, who were both older than Trudeau, banded together to harass mini Justin. Why? Perry claimed they were probably jealous that Trudeau was excelling in a sport and that honestly, he was probably the only kid they could have beaten up.
“I was a stupid kid,” Perry said in defense. “And, you know, I didn’t want to beat him up. I think at one point I tried to turn it into love play.”
Oh, Chandler — I mean, Matthew Perry.
If you thought it would all end there, you’re wrong. On Saturday, Trudeau tweeted out that he’d be more than happy to meet up with his childhood bully again — and he was ready for a rematch so he could win fair and square.
I've been giving it some thought, and you know what, who hasn't wanted to punch Chandler? How about a rematch @MatthewPerry?
— Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) April 1, 2017
I don’t know about you, but this is the match of my dreams. Not that I ever knew I wanted it until it was sitting right in front of me, but that doesn’t matter now, does it? Because here it is, in all of its Canadian glory.
A lot of people were just as enthusiastic as I was when I found out.
— Michele Corriston (@mcorriston) April 3, 2017
— Vanessa@TurnipseedTravel (@turnipseeds) April 1, 2017
— jerrythegarbageman (@doralboy1) April 1, 2017
— Lauren Molloy (@TakeALark) April 1, 2017
But other people had some other people in mind that they wouldn’t mind seeing Justin Trudeau sock in the face.
Box Trump for charity
— jordan (@JordanUhl) April 1, 2017
Personally, I'd rather slap Ross. Seriously, THEY WERE ON A BREAK???
— ~𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖊 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖚𝖗~ (@Darke_Conteur) April 1, 2017
But it was Perry’s response that was the real winner here, though it was somewhat disappointing for those of us who were really, really hoping to see it become a reality.
I think I will pass at your request for a rematch kind sir (given that you currently have an army at your disposal)
— matthew perry (@MatthewPerry) April 2, 2017
Well, it was a short-lived dream, but at least I got a taste of what could have been.