1. “You’re too independent… Aren’t you afraid of being alone?”
Yeah, sometimes I do think about ending up alone. This is usually after a string of dreadful Tinder dates where I received death stares for paying my own bill and ordering for myself. But then I think if I DO end up alone, it’s pretty great that I have fixing my drain and other domestic shit on lock. Seriously, why should I have to make myself smaller or lesser to make a potential love interest more comfortable around me? The kind of relationship I’m looking for is based on a deep level of mutual respect. There’s no way I’m going to find that type of partnership if I have to stifle my own independence to impress someone.
2. “Isn’t calling yourself a bitch misogynistic?”
That’s a fair question- and in many ways I see where the use of the term ‘bitch’ can be contentious. Having spoken with quite a few self-proclaimed ‘bad-bitches’ on the subject, however, it’s clear that many use the term as a means for self-designated empowerment. Bitch Media’s explanation particularly resonates with my feelings on the subject.
“When it’s being used as an insult, “bitch” is an epithet hurled at women who speak their minds, who have opinions and don’t shy away from expressing them, and who don’t sit by and smile uncomfortably if they’re bothered or offended. If being an outspoken woman means being a bitch, we’ll take that as a compliment. We know that not everyone’s down with the term. Believe us, we’ve heard all about it. But we stand firm in our belief that if we choose to reappropriate the word, it loses its power to hurt us. And if we can get people thinking about what they’re saying when they use the word, that’s even better.”
So for now, I’m going to continue identifying myself as a bad bitch and will gladly call you whatever makes you feel most empowered. If I’m using the term on myself, it’s pretty fair to assume I’m not using it to put down my own gender – I just think I’m pretty damn fabulous.
3. “So, you hate men?”
Nope, my identity as a bad bitch means I love myself. Priding myself on my own self-reliance has nothing, I repeat nothing, to do with my feelings towards men. That’s like saying I must hate puffins because I think I’m a bad bitch. An innate dislike of puffins is just as irrelevant as a hatred for men. I do, however, expect a lot of men. I expect men to exhibit a high regard for the women in their lives, it would be hypocritical to not hold myself to the same standard. I try to formulate my opinions of each man and woman based on their individual characters, and hate no one just because they happen to belong to the population with XY chromosomes.
4. “You Should Really Let Him/Her Pay More.”
First of all, I work hard for my money so kindly stop thinking you can tell me what to do with it. Second, in my personal opinion, I’m just as capable as my date to fund whatever activity we’re engaged in. I’m not saying I have to pay all the time, everyone likes being treated now and then. But I am not going to participate in antiquated beliefs about males being responsible for the check every time we’re together because it’s ‘polite’. I’m half of this date, if I want to foot the bill your sense of self should be flattered that I give a damn enough to pay, not threatened that I can.
5. “You think you’re all that but you don’t have X,Y,Z.”
Awesome, thanks for that, bye. Here’s the thing, a bad bitch doesn’t spend time trying to bring down others. She concentrates on bettering herself, handling her business, contributing something positive to the world, and building up those around her. Your negative opinion has zero bearing on my pursuit of these things, so please take that hate somewhere else.
6. “You can’t do that, you’re a girl.”
Actually, on second thought, keep saying that one.
Bad bitches love a challenge.