Seriously, thank you.
I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way, though you might be surprised to hear that. This is not a letter out of bitterness. This is not a letter out of spite. So, I hope you’ll listen. Because I want to thank you for so many things. Truly.
Thank you for convincing me love with you would be safe. You promised we’d go slow because you knew how gun-shy I was. You kissed me gently and kept showing up, kept proving relationships are worth it. You were the first one to break down my carefully constructed walls. I was putty in your hands.
Thank you for introducing me to your mom. Thank you for making me part of something. Thank you for carving future plans together and allowing the giddy school girl inside me to emerge.
Thank you for loving me when it wasn’t always easy.
Thank you for trying. Thank you for giving it your all.
That is, until you couldn’t.
And even then, thank you for the betrayal.
Thank you for the nights of tear-soaked pillow cases and texting my friends at 2 am because I couldn’t stand handling the pain alone. Thank you for the heartache. Thank you for all of this.
Because, even though the way we ended wasn’t fair, you did give me something important.
You gave me the ability to feel. When I found out you cheated, I was devastated. And at first, I was furious.
I was so angry at you for disrespecting me like that. But that anger became sadness. And that sadness became reflection.
I don’t thank you for cheating. But I thank you for the resulting hurt.
Because now I know I can feel.
And one day in the future, I will feel and love and hurt again.