I am ashamed to admit it, but I never really knew how to make a good cup of coffee until I met you. I also did not appreciate the magical effects of a good cup o’ joe until you showed me how. Being a 20-year- old kid in college who didn’t run on caffeine was rare, and I’m glad you saw that. You eased me into it. Gave me training wheels. At first, you went all pavlov and conditioned me to drink something in the morning while you sipped on your perfectly brewed cup. Boy do I miss those chocolate milks. Weeks went by and I would ask you nicely to have a tiny sip of yours. Than, months went by, and my chocolate milk stayed on our night stand, while you were surprised to see how quickly “you” went through your morning cup. Rest assured, years went by, and I finally graduated to my own cup, lighter and sweeter than yours. But we both know, it was never really about the coffee anyway.
Most relationships, like ours, are cliche. Gradually they are nurtured and brought to life. Sleepless nights. Endless conversations. Sex. Cuddling. Plans. I recognize these are important and how we had our start and without them we wouldn’t have had our foundation. But, then came the more heavy stuff. Trust. Commitment. Loyalty, which I’ll admit, was hard to get on board with. I’m not here to say our story was one for the books. I’m not here to point out that we simply are the exception to all other relationships that have been developed, ever. We didn’t take the world by storm. We didn’t set fire a blaze from our eternal love. We didn’t move mountains and oceans. But, we did change the course of each others lives and to me, that’s worth acknowledging.
I won’t go into every detail that we shared or experienced together, because those are only our memories to hold. I just want to recognize how important your love was, and how important it was for me to experience. Like I have told you before, my heart actually skipped a beat when we first kissed and from that day on, my heart changed the rhythm of its beat. Your love changed me through and through. I am not the person I was before I met you. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad. All I know is you are directly to blame for this (do not take that as a negative connotation). To me, I think it’s pretty powerful if someone has the ability to change you without you even realizing.
I knew what love was like before I met you, but I didn’t know what unconditional love felt like, and now that you are gone, I have an understanding. You have a piece of me no one will ever have. They say time heals all things, and to an extent that is true. For me, I think this (you) is something that will just hurt less over time, but never really go away. I won’t sit and dwell on the mistakes we made or the damage that has been done. I won’t “smile because it happened.” I will, however, hold you close and sip on my morning coffee because it’s what I’ve been conditioned to do.