This Is The Upside Of Losing Your Friends In Your 30s

As a 20-something, my world revolved around my friends. But, I lost my pack of girlfriends in my early 30s. We’d been a pack of best friends for nearly a decade. Through every fight with our boyfriends, every night spent dancing ‘til 2am, every Sunday spent on the couch with hangovers, this group of girls was my go to support system and the friends I thought I’d never lose. Diamond rings and babies definitely changed things, though.

One by one, my girlfriends started getting married and having kids. Suddenly, our weekends went from non-stop fun to picking out bridesmaid dresses and a bridal shower every month. I found myself spending thousands of dollars on friends who weren’t the same people I’d grown to love. Sadly, things only got worse once they were married. Our conversations felt fake and all we talked about were weddings, babies, and suburban real estate.

One day when I was 33, I realized that the honest truth was I had little to nothing in common with my friends anymore. I’d quit smoking and binge drinking, which I realized were the two things we’d had in common. And I just didn’t care to spend every weekend talking about carats, wedding venues or how many square feet are in a house.

Accepting this truth was difficult at first, but it forced to me to stop focusing so much on others—and to let go of the guilt I felt for not caring about this new stuff my friends were into. By peacefully deciding to move on with my life, I made space for new friends and better habits. And even some room to focus on myself.

Overall, losing my group of friends was actually a really great thing. I’ll admit I still miss them from time to time, but I remind myself of all the positives that came from this happening. And I can’t keep looking back. Life is all about moving forward with the family and friends we choose.