I’m Not Running Away, I’m Rebuilding My Life Without You

Nicolas Prieto

It has been 401 days since the day you took off from my run way lungs and away from this heart you once called home.

You said our love was not strong enough to survive the distance between our universes, but how come you’re back?

You’re here.

A bus ride away and you’re not buying a one- way ticket back to me.

I prepared myself for a world without you in it, but I did not fathom a world where you would be finger tips within reach and did not want to come home.

You make this city feel so small, like I will always be able to see your shadow no matter how far away I am from you. You were not supposed to be back to this place and I was supposed to make it my home. But, now that you’re back, this city of 9 million feel so claustrophobic I could suffocate.

It’s ironic. You were the one who was supposed to be cut from our fairy tale world, but it seems that I am the one who must escape.

I flee from these walls, these buildings that are built upon the books of our broken memories. Every corner I turn is just another page, another chapter, another window reflecting the memories of you and I before you broke me. Who knew, that a single brown eyed boy could take up so much space, that I can barely see the sun from where I stand.

I’m starting to believe that it is not time that heals this heavy heart, but the miles I must fly in order to breath again.

I hope one day you will no longer have a place in my heart, that I will begin to pack up the belonging you left behind. That I will be able to come back to our city, and not see your face in every car that passes by. That I will make new memories in this city I love, and make room in my melancholy heart for someone else to settle in.

But for now, you will find me across the world, in new city being able to breath again. Exhaling relief, because I know there is no way for you to taint these memories I am making.

For they are mine,

and mine only.

I am rebuilding my life the only way I know how. By starting over, with a clean slate. A new canvas, a blank page- brick by brick building new memories until I am whole again.

You may say I am running away from my past, but I only see it as running towards my future.

A future, a new city, a new home, a new life.

Without you. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog